| #113 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 1 |
| 🥇 | Anniversary Miniature Sword & Martini Guy | 1 |
| #931 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 1 |
| #1677 | Boss Bat bling | 1 |
| #325 | Cloaca grenade | 54 |
| #160 | Cloaca-Cola | 258 |
| #133 | Cloaca-Cola c-rations | 27 |
| #82 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 28 |
| #336 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 7 |
| #349 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 7 |
| #265 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 9 |
| #256 | Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife | 3 |
| #532 | Corpse Island iced tea | 10 |
| #145 | Dyspepsi grenade | 97 |
| #199 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 388 |
| #90 | Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations | 28 |
| #68 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 25 |
| #71 | Dyspepsi-Cola helmet | 24 |
| #347 | Dyspepsi-Cola knapsack | 8 |
| #1374 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 1 |
| #175 | Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen | 4 |
| #1599 | Glass Balls of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #678 | Happy Birthday, Claude! cake | 1 |
| #127 | Kevlar balloon | 1 |
| #615 | Mob Penguin protection contract | 1 |
| #171 | Mr. Balloon | 1 |
| #182 | Mylar balloon | 1 |
| #61 | Time Juice | 8 |
| #273 | Valentine's Day cake | 2 |
| #183 | Venus flytrap | 1 |
| #139 | Yeti Protest Sign | 1 |
| #129 | all-purpose flower | 1 |
| #53 | angel-food cake | 1 |
| #677 | anniversary balloon | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary pewter cape | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #288 | arrow'd heart balloon | 2 |
| #183 | babycakes | 1 |
| #1425 | bag of airline peanuts | 7 |
| #92 | birthday party jellybean cheesecake | 1 |
| #132 | black lotus | 1 |
| #16 | blood-faced volleyball | 1,055 |
| #759 | blue glowstick | 1 |
| 🥈 | blue ribbon | 1 |
| 🥈 | blue traffic cone | 1 |
| #125 | blue velvet cake | 1 |
| #174 | bobble-hip hula elf doll | 1 |
| #771 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 1 |
| #1664 | box of sunshine | 99 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #662 | cherry | 1 |
| #109 | chocolate box | 1 |
| #938 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #1254 | clown hammer | 10 |
| #95 | congratulatory cake | 1 |
| #618 | corpse on the beach | 8 |
| #656 | corpsedriver | 7 |
| #1218 | corpsetini | 3 |
| #32 | cryptic puzzle box | 1 |
| #1025 | daisy | 1 |
| #57 | deadly nightshade | 1 |
| #41 | devil's-food cake | 1 |
| #211 | double daisy | 2 |
| #5140 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| #74 | exactly-three-shaped box | 1 |
| #145 | exotic orchid | 1 |
| #1197 | explosion-flavored chewing gum | 11 |
| #1028 | fake fake vomit | 21 |
| #879 | fine wine | 1 |
| #1610 | flashing novelty button | 1 |
| #82 | gilded lily | 1 |
| #882 | green balloon | 1 |
| #1007 | green glowstick | 1 |
| 🥈 | green traffic cone | 1 |
| #1453 | heart-shaped balloon | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #180 | less-than-three-shaped box | 1 |
| #289 | loaded serum blowgun | 14 |
| #590 | long-stemmed rose | 1 |
| #1229 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 11 |
| #26 | magnetic field | 1 |
| #69 | mini-zeppelin | 1 |
| #119 | miniature coffin | 1 |
| #689 | mugcake | 1 |
| #153 | outrageous sombrero | 1 |
| #1060 | personalized birthday cake | 1 |
| #1324 | pet rock "Snooty" disguise | 9 |
| #394 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 2 |
| #1206 | pink glowstick | 1 |
| #323 | plain brown wrapper | 1 |
| #811 | potted cactus | 1 |
| #489 | potted fern | 1 |
| #90 | rat head balloon | 1 |
| #229 | red balloon | 1 |
| #26 | refrigerated biohazard container | 1 |
| #1298 | rib of the Bonerdagon | 1 |
| #1168 | rubber emo roe | 15 |
| #422 | severed rocking horse head | 1 |
| #547 | slap and tickle | 1 |
| #33 | solid asbestos box | 1 |
| #23 | solid chrome box | 1 |
| #2837 | solid gold bowling ball | 1 |
| #31 | solid linoleum box | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #147 | thought balloon | 1 |
| #508 | three-tiered wedding cake | 1 |
| #12 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 3,382 |
| #392 | tulip | 1 |
| #727 | urinal cake | 1 |
| #902 | white balloon | 1 |
| #1195 | whoopie cushion | 14 |
| #583 | yellow glowstick | 2 |
| #1316 | yellow snowcone | 12 |