| #97 | ASCII shirt | 25 |
| #239 | BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt | 4 |
| #176 | BGE 'ferocious fruit' shirt | 5 |
| #541 | BGE merchandise order form | 6 |
| #111 | BGE shotglass | 42 |
| #39 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 33 |
| #255 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 4 |
| #264 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 3 |
| #176 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 4 |
| #149 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 4 |
| #476 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 2 |
| #2097 | CRIMBCO mug | 1 |
| #1164 | CRIMBCO scrip | 35 |
| #287 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 1 |
| #249 | Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket | 4 |
| #202 | Corporal Fennel's Lonely Clubs Club Jacket | 4 |
| #465 | Corpse Island iced tea | 11 |
| #1030 | Crimbo candied pecan | 5 |
| #1171 | Crimbo fudge | 3 |
| #731 | Crimbo peppermint bark | 11 |
| #190 | Dogsgotnonoz pills | 1 |
| #177 | Eau de Guaneau | 3 |
| #100 | Grateful Undead T-shirt | 6 |
| #110 | Kiss the Knob apron | 1 |
| #225 | Knob Goblin elite helm | 26 |
| #219 | Knob Goblin elite pants | 28 |
| #185 | Knob Goblin elite polearm | 31 |
| #169 | Knob Goblin elite shirt | 52 |
| #374 | Knob Goblin lunchbox | 3 |
| #115 | Mer-kin breastplate | 1 |
| #137 | Mer-kin fastjuice | 2 |
| #98 | Mer-kin foodbucket | 8 |
| #120 | Mer-kin healscroll | 5 |
| #41 | Mer-kin hookspear | 23 |
| #157 | Mer-kin killscroll | 2 |
| #181 | Mer-kin prayerbeads | 1 |
| #67 | Mer-kin roundshield | 3 |
| #29 | Mer-kin takebag | 28 |
| #22 | Mer-kin thingpouch | 207 |
| #374 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Inhaler | 10 |
| #396 | Miniborg beeper | 1 |
| #362 | Miniborg hiveminder | 1 |
| #394 | Miniborg laser | 1 |
| #443 | Miniborg stomper | 1 |
| #405 | Miniborg strangler | 1 |
| #566 | NPZR chemistry set | 2 |
| #329 | Private Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Jacket | 2 |
| #27 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 36 |
| #173 | SPF 451 lip balm | 14 |
| #1570 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 1 |
| #1939 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 1 |
| #1250 | Uncle Crimbo's Rations | 1 |
| #105 | Ye Olde Navy Fleece | 5 |
| #16 | anemone nematocyst | 78 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #504 | bag of lard | 2 |
| #993 | battered Crimbo Crate | 6 |
| #286 | bazookafish bubble gum | 4 |
| #486 | beertini | 3 |
| #351 | black eyedrops | 2 |
| #564 | bottle of Mystic Shell | 1 |
| #670 | bottle of antifreeze | 1 |
| #420 | bottle of pirate juice | 2 |
| #217 | bottle of rhinoceros hormones | 2 |
| #13 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 42 |
| #64 | bronze breastplate | 29 |
| #179 | can of spinach | 11 |
| #508 | canteen of wine | 53 |
| #1749 | circular CRIMBCOOKIE | 1 |
| #154 | clockwork trench coat | 1 |
| #75 | clownskin harness | 8 |
| #176 | coconut bikini top | 1 |
| #429 | corpse on the beach | 12 |
| #99 | corpsebite | 3 |
| #502 | corpsedriver | 10 |
| #699 | corpsetini | 7 |
| #164 | demonskin jacket | 1 |
| #578 | distilled fortified wine | 3 |
| #58 | diving muff | 4 |
| #655 | donkey flipbook | 1 |
| #28 | dragonfish caviar | 21 |
| #174 | dull fish scale | 37 |
| #595 | dusty Crimbo crate | 18 |
| #398 | eXtreme Bi-Polar Fleece Vest | 1 |
| #1298 | easter egg balloon | 19 |
| #75 | eel skin | 2 |
| #1088 | elven limbos gingerbread | 8 |
| #1611 | elven cellocello | 11 |
| #506 | fake blood | 2 |
| #3838 | fancy but probably evil chocolate | 1 |
| #412 | fancy chocolate car | 7 |
| #220 | [2426]fire flower | 5 |
| #48 | fish scimitar | 2 |
| #80 | fish stick | 1 |
| #127 | flytrap pellet | 2 |
| #281 | freezerburned ice cube | 1 |
| #35 | frilly shirt | 14 |
| #378 | fudge bunny | 1 |
| #210 | gingham blouse | 1 |
| #30 | globe of Deep Sauce | 24 |
| #36 | glowing esca | 6 |
| #69 | glowing syringe | 4 |
| #429 | goth kid t-shirt | 9 |
| #56 | grungy flannel shirt | 12 |
| #76 | guy made of bee pollen | 44 |
| #75 | harem girl t-shirt | 17 |
| #1204 | herringcello | 16 |
| #11 | imitation crab crate | 151 |
| #160 | imitation crab meat | 17 |
| #60 | imitation crab zoea | 1 |
| #51 | jamfish jam | 12 |
| #97 | jar of "Creole Lady" marrrmalade | 5 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #139 | kamicorpse-ee | 2 |
| #1156 | killing feather | 39 |
| #10 | moist sailor's cap | 32 |
| #617 | papaya slung | 1 |
| #235 | pirate shirt | 8 |
| #213 | plexiglass pants | 1 |
| #212 | plexiglass pendant | 1 |
| #327 | plexiglass pikestaff | 1 |
| #106 | plexiglass pinky ring | 2 |
| #289 | plexiglass pith helmet | 1 |
| #64 | plexiglass pocketwatch | 3 |
| #94 | poltergeist-in-the-jar-o | 8 |
| #12 | pufferfish spine | 132 |
| #209 | red-headed corpse | 1 |
| #146 | ridiculous cocktail | 11 |
| #13 | rusty broken diving helmet | 17 |
| #15 | rusty compass | 12 |
| #11 | rusty porthole | 15 |
| #10 | rusty rivet | 134 |
| #12 | rusty speargun | 15 |
| #91 | scented massage oil | 21 |
| #55 | seaode | 14 |
| #15 | seaweed | 124 |
| #73 | shark jumper | 2 |
| #309 | shrinking powder | 1 |
| #111 | six-pack of New Cloaca-Cola | 2 |
| #43 | snailmail hauberk | 1 |
| #155 | soggy wofl t-shirt | 2 |
| #477 | souvenir ski t-shirt | 1 |
| #350 | square CRIMBCOOKIE | 4 |
| #479 | stainless steel scarf | 7 |
| #1125 | stainless steel shillelagh | 4 |
| #310 | stainless steel skullcap | 9 |
| #1705 | stainless steel slacks | 2 |
| #505 | stainless steel solitaire | 6 |
| #929 | stainless steel suspenders | 4 |
| #119 | star shirt | 3 |
| #310 | supportive bra | 5 |
| #368 | teeny-tiny magic scroll | 2 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #639 | tomato daiquiri | 1 |
| #198 | towel | 47 |
| #1135 | tropical wrapping paper | 1 |
| #111 | turtlemail hauberk | 1 |
| #20 | tuxedo shirt | 31 |
| #206 | vampire collar | 10 |
| #58 | white hat hacker T-shirt | 22 |
| #96 | yak anorak | 3 |