| #79 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 2 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #26 | Alice's Army booster box | 1 |
| 🥈 | Big Candy's tophat | 1 |
| #342 | Boozehounds Anonymous token | 1 |
| #417 | Crimbo Factory surprise box | 1 |
| #364 | Goodfella contract | 83 |
| #610 | Instant Karma | 7 |
| #39 | Junior Adventurer's kit | 1 |
| 🥇 | KoL Con 3-D Glasses | 1 |
| 🥉 | KoL Con IV Pole | 1 |
| #1004 | Microplushie: Otakulone | 1 |
| #948 | Microplushie: Raverdrine | 1 |
| #60 | Mob Penguin cellular phone | 390 |
| #615 | Mob Penguin protection contract | 1 |
| #284 | PEEZ dispenser | 8 |
| #272 | St. Sneaky Pete's Day goodies basket | 18 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Crimbo | 1 |
| #1258 | Time Juice | 2 |
| #200 | Unionize The Elves sign | 1 |
| #139 | Yeti Protest Sign | 1 |
| 🥇 | all-year sucker | 1 |
| #241 | anniversary gift box | 9 |
| #90 | bindle of joy | 1 |
| #472 | blue glowstick | 3 |
| 🥈 | blue ribbon | 1 |
| 🥈 | blue traffic cone | 1 |
| #1505 | bottle of whiskey | 1 |
| #115 | bowling ball | 8 |
| #160 | broken cellular phone | 37 |
| #111 | cheap toaster | 16 |
| #809 | chocolate-frosted king cake | 1 |
| #969 | evil golden arch | 1 |
| #175 | faded green protest sign | 1 |
| #5 | fancy black tie | 2 |
| #5 | fancy tophat | 2 |
| #5 | fancy tuxedo pants | 2 |
| 🥈 | festive warbear bank | 1 |
| #206 | flashing novelty button | 5 |
| #18 | frozen Mob Penguin | 251 |
| #76 | fuzzy dice | 27 |
| #195 | gilded ancient cursed chest | 1 |
| #950 | handful of confetti | 44 |
| 🥇 | heart of dark chocolate | 1 |
| 🥈 | indie comic hipster glasses | 1 |
| #22 | iron pasta spoon | 653 |
| #41 | jingle bell | 1 |
| #34 | kneecapping stick | 692 |
| #17 | mafia aria | 1,013 |
| #1344 | motivational poster | 1 |
| 🥇 | old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #1140 | orange glowstick | 1 |
| #153 | outrageous sombrero | 1 |
| 🥇 | overflowing gift basket | 1 |
| #1053 | penguin focaccia bread | 18 |
| #98 | penguin skin | 2,157 |
| #823 | penguin thesaurus | 7 |
| #48 | penguin-smacking club | 2 |
| #689 | pink glowstick | 3 |
| #751 | plastic passion fruit | 1 |
| #191 | purple glowstick | 9 |
| #13 | scroll of pasta summoning | 968 |
| #422 | severed rocking horse head | 1 |
| #16 | shining star cap | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| 🥇 | styrofoam peanuts | 1 |
| 🥈 | superhero mask | 1 |
| #22 | support cummerbund | 350 |
| #970 | tattered paper crown | 1 |
| #2031 | teddy bear | 1 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #174 | tin star | 1 |
| #664 | towel | 12 |
| 🥇 | tropical Crimbo pressie | 1 |
| #104 | useless powder | 2,870 |
| #70 | void burger | 1 |
| #66 | void lager | 1 |
| #85 | void stone | 1 |
| 🥇 | wand of fudge control | 1 |
| 🥇 | webbed comic mask | 1 |
| #583 | yellow glowstick | 2 |
| #1862 | zombie pineal gland | 1 |