| #932 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 1 |
| #1741 | Breathetastic™ Premium Canned Air | 1 |
| #1189 | Cloaca grenade | 6 |
| #823 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 3 |
| #600 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 4 |
| #490 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 5 |
| #612 | Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife | 1 |
| #886 | Copper Alpha of Sincerity | 2 |
| #514 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 5 |
| #354 | Dyspepsi-Cola helmet | 7 |
| #451 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 5 |
| #580 | Dyspepsi-Cola-issue canteen | 1 |
| #1675 | Iron Beta of Industry | 1 |
| #2405 | Valentine | 1 |
| #527 | Valentine's Day cake | 1 |
| #314 | anniversary balloon | 3 |
| #2604 | anniversary gift box | 1 |
| #483 | anti-anti-antidote | 1 |
| #538 | arrow'd heart balloon | 1 |
| #397 | awful poetry journal | 300 |
| #2563 | black paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2110 | black plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #2088 | black polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #269 | black velvet box | 1 |
| #2554 | blue paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2374 | blue polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #2621 | blue striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #2315 | box of sunshine | 50 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #546 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #1977 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 3 |
| #1674 | candied yams | 4 |
| #3286 | candy cane | 4 |
| #1783 | candy stake | 4 |
| #873 | casino pass | 1 |
| #109 | chocolate box | 1 |
| #479 | clockwork key | 4 |
| #33 | cocoa egg | 534 |
| #92 | cocoa eggshell fragment | 993 |
| #507 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #1025 | daisy | 1 |
| #141 | disturbing fanfic | 1,725 |
| #1476 | duck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #1288 | fancy but probably evil chocolate | 4 |
| #1832 | fancy chocolate | 2 |
| #3426 | fruitcake | 1 |
| #3306 | gingerbread bugbear | 2 |
| #1045 | heart-shaped balloon | 2 |
| #2180 | lavender paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2307 | lavender plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #2028 | lavender polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #1942 | loaded serum blowgun | 1 |
| #590 | long-stemmed rose | 1 |
| #1983 | mauve paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2254 | mauve plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #2384 | mauve striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #2534 | off-white plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #1060 | personalized birthday cake | 1 |
| #195 | potted cactus | 50 |
| #2253 | puce polka-dot oyster egg | 1 |
| #1645 | puce striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #2227 | red paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #2537 | red plastic oyster egg | 1 |
| #1078 | red polka-dot oyster egg | 3 |
| #1646 | red striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #3170 | stuffed alien blob | 1 |
| #1466 | stuffed can of asparagus | 1 |
| #91 | stuffed cocoabo | 291 |
| #1578 | stuffed dodecapede | 1 |
| #4800 | stuffed shoulder parrot | 1 |
| #777 | stuffed zmobie | 1 |
| #518 | ten-leaf clover | 19 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #8189 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 1 |
| #4311 | tiny plastic Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #2896 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 2 |
| #2898 | tiny plastic Crimbo wreath | 1 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #1531 | tiny plastic Scream Queen | 1 |
| #4541 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #1732 | tiny plastic ancient yuletide troll | 1 |
| #8211 | tiny plastic angry goat | 1 |
| #8249 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8124 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #8174 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 1 |
| 🥉 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 14,933 |
| #8218 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 1 |
| #8151 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #8184 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 1 |
| #8091 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #1738 | tiny plastic gift-wrapping vampire | 1 |
| #8057 | tiny plastic grue | 1 |
| #8127 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 1 |
| #8067 | tiny plastic killer bee | 1 |
| #8200 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 1 |
| #8101 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 1 |
| #8109 | tiny plastic mosquito | 1 |
| #4344 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #8100 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 1 |
| #4466 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #4452 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 1 |
| #1558 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #8223 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 1 |
| #8160 | tiny plastic stab bat | 1 |
| #8135 | tiny plastic star starfish | 1 |
| #4036 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 1 |
| #411 | tofu casserole | 2 |
| #2299 | tofurkey gravy | 2 |
| #1611 | tofurkey leg | 4 |
| #1384 | toy train | 1 |
| #1474 | toy wheel | 3 |
| #478 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #3145 | tree-eating kite | 1 |
| #1132 | tropical wrapping paper | 1 |
| #392 | tulip | 1 |
| #203 | urinal cake | 26 |
| #2525 | vampire duck-on-a-string | 1 |
| #586 | wang | 1 |
| #932 | wooden block | 2 |
| #737 | worthless gewgaw | 2 |
| #862 | worthless knick-knack | 2 |
| #784 | worthless trinket | 1 |
| #327 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 3 |
| #1378 | yellow candy heart | 1 |
| #176 | yellow plastic oyster egg | 27 |
| #421 | yellow striped oyster egg | 6 |
| #2364 | yo-yo | 1 |