| #247 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 | 1 |
| #784 | ASCII shirt | 1 |
| #73 | Apathargic Bandersnatch | 1 |
| #287 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 1 |
| #1987 | MagiMechTech NanoMechaMech | 1 |
| #1250 | Uncle Crimbo's Rations | 1 |
| #72 | beefy fish meat | 13 |
| #924 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 7 |
| #277 | bone meal | 1 |
| #53 | bonerang | 1 |
| #383 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 3 |
| #1999 | candy kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #493 | cursed bottle of black-label rum | 1 |
| #513 | cursed bottle of rum | 1 |
| #460 | cursed sea biscuit | 1 |
| #1247 | cyborg stompin' boot | 2 |
| #1186 | elven cellocello | 17 |
| #80 | fish stick | 1 |
| #682 | gingerbread mutant bugbear | 6 |
| #80 | glistening fish meat | 12 |
| #902 | herringcello | 21 |
| #1002 | immense cyborg hand | 5 |
| #531 | jawbruiser | 5 |
| #2830 | laser-broiled pear | 4 |
| #975 | licorice garrote | 3 |
| #510 | live wire | 2 |
| #109 | misfit dolly | 1 |
| #1126 | night-vision goggles | 1 |
| #159 | packet of tofurkey gravy | 1 |
| #363 | parasitic claw | 1 |
| #229 | parasitic headgnawer | 1 |
| #1238 | passable elf mask | 4 |
| #752 | penguin focaccia bread | 23 |
| #756 | pocketwatch on a chain | 4 |
| #623 | poison pen | 3 |
| #2128 | polyalloy shield | 1 |
| #651 | quantum taco | 6 |
| #167 | sea blueberry | 3 |
| #180 | sea broccoli | 2 |
| #141 | sea cauliflower | 4 |
| #180 | sea persimmon | 2 |
| #210 | set of jacks | 1 |
| #931 | teddy borg | 7 |
| #232 | thermos full of Knob coffee | 3 |
| #296 | throbbing rage gland | 1 |
| #1057 | tiny plastic Mob Penguin | 1 |
| #991 | tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite | 1 |
| #1018 | tiny plastic fat stack of cash | 1 |
| #1035 | tiny plastic mutant elf | 1 |
| #978 | tiny plastic strand of DNA | 1 |
| #347 | tofu casserole | 3 |
| #1905 | tofurkey gravy | 3 |
| #2400 | toy crazy train | 1 |
| #1525 | toy ray gun | 3 |
| #2262 | toy space helmet | 1 |
| #1383 | toy train | 1 |
| #1922 | unstable DNA | 7 |
| #1913 | vampire duck-on-a-string | 2 |