| #1423 | 8-ball | 6 |
| #48 | Cherry Cloaca Cola | 97 |
| #326 | Cloaca grenade | 54 |
| #632 | Cloaca-Cola | 44 |
| #554 | Cloaca-Cola c-rations | 6 |
| #45 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 70 |
| #42 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 74 |
| #385 | Cloaca-Cola knapsack | 6 |
| #40 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 75 |
| #354 | Cloaca-Cola-issue combat knife | 2 |
| #1411 | Crimboween memo | 6 |
| #42 | Diet Cloaca Cola | 80 |
| #8 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 12,997 |
| 🥈 | Junior LAAAAME merit badge | 1 |
| #199 | Knob Goblin perfume | 18 |
| #582 | Mick's IcyVapoHotness Rub | 40 |
| #746 | Mob Penguin cellular phone | 21 |
| #780 | Pine-Fresh air freshener | 1 |
| #39 | Regular Cloaca Cola | 71 |
| #1201 | Retenez L'Herbe Paté | 2 |
| #174 | Rock Pops | 284 |
| #285 | Sneaky Pete's breath spray | 5 |
| #404 | Spam Witch sammich | 81 |
| #323 | Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste | 8 |
| #200 | Unionize The Elves sign | 1 |
| #1343 | Valentine | 9 |
| #118 | Venus flytrap | 2 |
| #678 | anniversary balloon | 1 |
| #45 | antique bottle of cough syrup | 16 |
| #173 | antique hand mirror | 37 |
| #769 | aspirin | 1 |
| #1884 | bag of airline peanuts | 1 |
| #664 | balloon monkey | 2 |
| #328 | beer-scented teddy bear | 1 |
| #882 | blood flower | 5 |
| 🥈 | blue traffic cone | 1 |
| #82 | bottle of Monsieur Bubble | 134 |
| #322 | bottle of Vangoghbitussin | 2 |
| #2386 | bottle of goofballs | 8 |
| #296 | bottle of rum | 205 |
| #1072 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 1 |
| #82 | bottle of ultravitamins | 9 |
| #4217 | box of sunshine | 12 |
| #2708 | brick | 1 |
| #704 | can of Binarrrca | 12 |
| #546 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #127 | cardboard wakizashi | 28 |
| #736 | cheap plastic bottle opener | 9 |
| #261 | cheap toaster | 8 |
| #939 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| #1186 | chunk of depleted Grimacite | 6 |
| #149 | clockwork key | 11 |
| #597 | coffin lid | 1 |
| #507 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #147 | daisy | 60 |
| #8 | decorative fountain | 6,915 |
| #220 | deodorant | 13 |
| #3285 | diamond necklace | 1 |
| #193 | disintegrating sheet music | 25 |
| #2070 | easter egg balloon | 10 |
| #458 | empty Cloaca-Cola bottle | 22 |
| #309 | empty blowgun | 7 |
| #2680 | evil teddy bear | 1 |
| #191 | evil teddy bear sewing kit | 1 |
| #79 | false eyelashes | 7 |
| #138 | fancy bath salts | 165 |
| #1763 | fire | 1 |
| #838 | flashing novelty button | 2 |
| #150 | frozen Mob Penguin | 13 |
| #236 | fruit bowl | 1 |
| #604 | fuzzbump | 1 |
| #661 | fuzzy dice | 8 |
| #878 | ghuol guolash | 2 |
| #2535 | giant pinky ring | 1 |
| #971 | gingerbread bugbear | 22 |
| #1336 | gingerbread mutant bugbear | 4 |
| #1003 | gloomy black mushroom | 3 |
| #146 | gob of wet hair | 220 |
| #1910 | green beer | 1 |
| #765 | guy made of bee pollen | 2 |
| #126 | hair spray | 161 |
| #5202 | handful of confetti | 1 |
| #225 | hot pink lipstick | 3 |
| #171 | ice stein | 2 |
| #1197 | jazz soap | 11 |
| #1883 | joybuzzer | 1 |
| #1435 | loaded serum blowgun | 2 |
| #213 | munchies pill | 2 |
| #317 | mushroom fermenting solution | 24 |
| #3424 | nanite-infested gingerbread bugbear | 1 |
| #470 | oily golden mushroom | 1 |
| #523 | oriole-feather headdress | 2 |
| #694 | pail | 13 |
| #227 | patchouli incense stick | 119 |
| #41 | penguin shorts | 9 |
| #766 | penguin skin | 22 |
| #147 | penguin skin buckler | 1 |
| #192 | penguin whip | 1 |
| #1107 | pet rock | 6 |
| #281 | picture of a dead guy's girlfriend | 3 |
| #286 | pink candygram | 1 |
| #929 | pink glowstick | 2 |
| #681 | pixellated candy heart | 16 |
| #754 | plastic passion fruit | 1 |
| #914 | pool cue | 2 |
| #558 | potted cactus | 2 |
| #419 | pr0n legs | 40 |
| #9 | red traffic cone | 1 |
| #141 | reodorant | 97 |
| #1299 | rib of the Bonerdagon | 1 |
| #1169 | [2108]rock | 2 |
| #494 | roll in the hay | 1 |
| #404 | roll of toilet paper | 223 |
| #647 | rum and cola | 1 |
| #55 | shaving cream | 12 |
| #436 | shiny butcherknife | 1 |
| #1525 | shiny ring | 10 |
| #140 | skewer-mounted razor blade | 10 |
| #1097 | sleeping snowy owl | 1 |
| #1368 | spooky cosmetics bag | 1 |
| #125 | spooky eyeliner | 19 |
| #124 | spooky lipstick | 20 |
| #5813 | stuffed astral badger | 5 |
| #777 | stuffed zmobie | 1 |
| #524 | super-spiky hair gel | 114 |
| #246 | tap shoes | 6 |
| #2033 | teddy bear | 1 |
| #92 | teddy bear sewing kit | 5 |
| #1963 | teddy borg | 1 |
| 🥇 | time sleigh | 1 |
| #1550 | tiny plastic Crimboween pentagram | 1 |
| #1056 | tiny plastic Mob Penguin | 1 |
| #3855 | tiny plastic XXX pr0n | 1 |
| #4020 | tiny plastic angry bugbear | 1 |
| #2571 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 2 |
| #2706 | tiny plastic hermit | 2 |
| #4344 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #86 | toothbrush | 24 |
| #1221 | towel | 4 |
| #478 | tree skirt | 1 |
| #85 | tube of hair oil | 6 |
| #195 | urinal cake | 33 |
| #53 | vial of patchouli oil | 32 |
| #292 | wang | 7 |
| #1752 | wind-up chattering teeth | 3 |
| #10 | windchimes | 8,011 |
| #2117 | yellow snowcone | 1 |
| #38 | yellow traffic cone | 1 |
| #1453 | zombie pineal gland | 2 |