| #336 | 5-Alarm Saucepan | 1 |
| #277 | Gazpacho's Glacial Grimoire | 1 |
| #542 | Lord of the Flies-sized fries | 10 |
| #171 | Mad Train wine | 623 |
| #2247 | Mob Penguin cellular phone | 1 |
| #218 | Mohawk wig | 59 |
| #75 | Penultimate Fantasy chest | 666 |
| #1317 | Senior Mints | 1 |
| #158 | Tropical Crimbo Hat | 1 |
| #161 | Tropical Crimbo Shorts | 1 |
| #189 | Tropical Crimbo Sword | 1 |
| #999 | Valentine | 13 |
| #479 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 83 |
| #243 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 69 |
| #1882 | anniversary gift box | 2 |
| #1193 | astral mushroom | 1 |
| #981 | awful poetry journal | 33 |
| #142 | bow staff | 1 |
| #134 | bowler | 1 |
| #104 | bum cheek | 189 |
| #547 | can of fake snow | 1 |
| #4135 | candy cane | 2 |
| #804 | cheap plastic bottle opener | 8 |
| #133 | cocoa eggshell fragment | 670 |
| #508 | colored-light "necklace" | 1 |
| #29 | crazy bastard sword | 1 |
| #140 | dirty hobo gloves | 205 |
| #5139 | easter egg balloon | 1 |
| #1355 | eggnog | 8 |
| #2871 | fruitcake | 2 |
| #189 | glowing red eye | 106 |
| #464 | green beer | 28 |
| #1195 | jabañero-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #55 | ladle of mystery | 3 |
| #222 | metallic A | 226 |
| #140 | moxie weed | 195 |
| 🥇 | old-fashioned Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #497 | petrified time | 1 |
| #208 | photoprotoneutron torpedo | 167 |
| #1724 | pixellated candy heart | 2 |
| #673 | saucepan | 47 |
| #322 | soft green echo eyedrop antidote | 434 |
| #134 | spiced rum | 8 |
| #114 | spider web | 562 |
| #672 | spooky mushroom | 64 |
| #36 | spooky scarecrow | 15 |
| #895 | spooky shrunken head | 3 |
| #114 | spooky staff | 4 |
| #943 | spooky stick | 3 |
| #716 | string of blue beads | 17 |
| #762 | string of green beads | 16 |
| #1209 | string of red beads | 9 |
| #1213 | tamarind-flavored chewing gum | 1 |
| #482 | thin black candle | 257 |
| #4459 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #131 | tiny plastic sword | 1 |
| #161 | titanium assault umbrella | 81 |
| #479 | tree skirt | 1 |
| 🥇 | tropical Crimbo pressie | 1 |