| #262 | 64067 scroll | 1 |
| #117 | Chester's Aquarius medallion | 1 |
| #179 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #114 | Dust bunny | 14 |
| #125 | Enchanted Plunger | 1 |
| #39 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 403 |
| #40 | Five Second Energy™ | 1 |
| #211 | Frosty's carrot | 1 |
| #432 | Frosty's frosty mug | 3 |
| #195 | Frosty's nailbat | 1 |
| #215 | Frosty's old silk hat | 1 |
| #87 | Hodgman's almanac | 1 |
| #118 | Hodgman's bow tie | 1 |
| #81 | Hodgman's cane | 1 |
| #190 | Knob Goblin nasal spray | 1 |
| #81 | L.I.M.P. Stock Certificate | 1,000 |
| #28 | Ludovico Pastaco | 1 |
| #740 | Now and Earlier | 1 |
| #197 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #187 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #308 | Orcish meat locker | 1 |
| #100 | Oscus's flypaper pants | 1 |
| #195 | Oscus's pelt | 1 |
| #20 | Racisto Ruidoso | 15 |
| #803 | Taco Dan's Taco Stand Taco | 1 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #33 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 | 4 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 | 1 |
| #67 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 | 1 |
| #81 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 | 1 |
| #1558 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 1 |
| #498 | Thwaitgold bug statuette | 1 |
| #1197 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 3 |
| #307 | Thwaitgold metabug statuette | 1 |
| #389 | Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette | 2 |
| #126 | Thwaitgold time fly statuette | 1 |
| #7 | Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix | 408 |
| #203 | Wand of Oscus | 1 |
| #15 | aerogel anvil | 1 |
| #36 | airborne mutagen | 1 |
| #533 | ancient spice | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #223 | bag of QWOP | 1 |
| #966 | beer bomb | 1 |
| #242 | black and white cracker | 2 |
| #695 | black helmet | 1 |
| #609 | black pension check | 1 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| #611 | blue-frosted astral cupcake | 1 |
| #104 | booty chest charrrm bracelet | 1 |
| #178 | borrowed time | 1 |
| #103 | bottle of Bloodweiser | 1 |
| #1138 | bowl of cottage cheese | 1 |
| #7446 | box of sunshine | 1 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #637 | carbonated water lily | 1 |
| #8 | clay peace-sign bead | 1,378 |
| #200 | compression stocking | 1 |
| #128 | crêepy mask | 1 |
| #457 | cup of primitive beer | 1 |
| #179 | cupcake-in-a-cup | 1 |
| #9 | cursed wishbone | 19 |
| #1064 | diamond-studded cane | 1 |
| #134 | dress pants | 1 |
| #1979 | drywall axe | 1 |
| #1040 | dusty bottle of Marsala | 1 |
| #302 | dusty first cervical vertebra | 1 |
| #292 | dusty third cervical vertebra | 1 |
| #94 | fabric hardener | 1 |
| #10 | filthy pestle | 447 |
| #171 | flask flops | 1 |
| #98 | frozen seal spine | 1 |
| #1457 | furry fur | 1 |
| #52 | giant shrimp fork | 1 |
| #772 | grapefruit | 1 |
| #1844 | handful of confetti | 19 |
| #9 | hemp string | 2,076 |
| #548 | hippy medical kit | 1 |
| #333 | hot powder | 1 |
| #78 | hunk of granite | 40 |
| #74 | illegal firecracker | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #911 | lowercase N | 1 |
| #17 | lustrous oyster egg | 30 |
| #1208 | magical ice cubes | 1 |
| #597 | magical pony: Uniquity | 1 |
| #63 | magnificent oyster egg | 10 |
| #165 | mana curds | 1 |
| #93 | mangled finger | 1 |
| #90 | mariachi toothpaste | 1 |
| #104 | mercenary headband | 1 |
| #128 | mime army camouflage kit | 1 |
| #228 | mime army rations | 1 |
| #152 | mime army superserum | 1 |
| #117 | mime army wine | 3 |
| #93 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #870 | moxie weed | 2 |
| #1565 | mushroom fermenting solution | 1 |
| #131 | nega-mushroom | 13 |
| #197 | neurostim pill | 1 |
| #53 | octolus oculus | 1 |
| #940 | orange | 1 |
| #141 | overpriced "imported" beer | 1 |
| #687 | pat-a-cake pendant | 1 |
| #45 | pearlescent oyster egg | 18 |
| #544 | petit fortran | 1 |
| #11 | phat turquoise bead | 1,358 |
| #1284 | plot hole | 1 |
| #1185 | pool cue | 1 |
| #70 | pressurized potion of pulchritude | 1 |
| #394 | prismatic wad | 2 |
| #110 | rack of dinosaur ribs | 2 |
| #1500 | ravioli hat | 1 |
| #794 | red pixel | 1 |
| #111 | rusty compass | 1 |
| #745 | sake bomb | 1 |
| #441 | scorpion whip | 1 |
| #1295 | scroll of drastic healing | 1 |
| #79 | shovelful of dirt | 40 |
| #69 | silent A | 1 |
| #137 | silent B | 1 |
| #133 | silent H | 1 |
| #202 | silent I | 1 |
| #172 | silent J | 1 |
| #191 | silent M | 1 |
| #68 | silent N | 1 |
| #240 | silent O | 1 |
| #65 | silent T | 1 |
| #63 | silent U | 1 |
| #185 | silent X | 1 |
| #944 | skeleton key | 1 |
| #157 | smirking shrunken head | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #482 | steamy ruby | 1 |
| #831 | taco shell | 1 |
| #12 | temperance whiskey | 22 |
| #1622 | thin black candle | 1 |
| #383 | tiny plastic Best Game Ever | 1 |
| #444 | tiny plastic CRIMBCO HQ | 1 |
| #220 | tiny plastic ChibiBuddy™ | 1 |
| #4229 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 1 |
| #803 | tiny plastic Duke Starkiller | 1 |
| #470 | tiny plastic Gary Claybender | 2 |
| #770 | tiny plastic Jared the Duskwalker | 1 |
| #214 | tiny plastic MechaElf | 1 |
| #401 | tiny plastic Mr. Mination | 1 |
| #3855 | tiny plastic Orcish Frat Boy | 1 |
| #236 | tiny plastic Uncle Crimboku | 1 |
| #243 | tiny plastic animelf | 1 |
| #4471 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 1 |
| #3869 | tiny plastic drunk goat | 1 |
| #425 | tiny plastic fax machine | 1 |
| #3837 | tiny plastic fiendish can of asparagus | 1 |
| #3898 | tiny plastic giant pair of tweezers | 1 |
| #426 | tiny plastic hobo elf | 1 |
| #8097 | tiny plastic mosquito | 1 |
| #1557 | tiny plastic skeletal reindeer | 1 |
| #3946 | tiny plastic smarmy pirate | 1 |
| #224 | tiny plastic taco-clad Crimbo elf | 1 |
| #1135 | tomato | 1 |
| #22 | transparent nog | 12 |
| #286 | turtlemail bits | 1 |
| #515 | twinkly powder | 1 |
| #18 | unfinished fruitcake | 12 |
| #155 | unflavored wine cooler | 1 |
| #152 | wind-up navigation droid | 1 |
| #415 | wine spritzer | 1 |
| #552 | worn tophat | 1 |
| #18 | zombie accordion | 1 |