| #73 | 4:20 bomb | 2 |
| #322 | Bartles and BRAAAINS wine cooler | 8 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #2422 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 1 |
| #2423 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 1 |
| #1479 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 1 |
| #1348 | Crimbo candied pecan | 1 |
| #1379 | Crimbo fudge | 1 |
| #1363 | Crimbo peppermint bark | 1 |
| #319 | Crimbo pie | 7 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #417 | Crimbuck | 2,421 |
| #492 | El Vibrato power sphere | 1 |
| #288 | El Vibrato punchcard (129 holes) | 1 |
| #254 | El Vibrato punchcard (142 holes) | 1 |
| #227 | El Vibrato punchcard (176 holes) | 1 |
| #226 | El Vibrato punchcard (182 holes) | 1 |
| #322 | El Vibrato punchcard (216 holes) | 1 |
| #296 | El Vibrato punchcard (88 holes) | 1 |
| #281 | El Vibrato punchcard (97 holes) | 1 |
| #1046 | Go-Wassail | 1 |
| #32 | Hollandaise helmet | 726 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #80 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 | 1 |
| #67 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 | 1 |
| #81 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 | 1 |
| #76 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 | 1 |
| #301 | The Necbronomicon | 1 |
| #1307 | Trollhouse cookies | 1 |
| #918 | Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guide | 1 |
| #188 | Warm Subject gift certificate | 956 |
| 🥇 | all-year sucker | 1 |
| #350 | anniversary gift box | 8 |
| #250 | banana supersucker | 1 |
| #966 | bananagate | 1 |
| #93 | bananarama bangle | 1 |
| #1661 | battered Crimbo Crate | 1 |
| #91 | beer bomb | 574 |
| #76 | blue raspberry troll doll | 1 |
| #52 | boozebomb | 1 |
| #712 | bottle of bubbles | 1 |
| #2151 | can of CRIMBCOLA | 1 |
| #23 | chintzy accordion pin | 37 |
| #21 | chintzy disco ball pendant | 91 |
| #45 | chintzy noodle ring | 45 |
| #41 | chintzy saucepan earring | 40 |
| #31 | chintzy seal pendant | 40 |
| #58 | chintzy turtle brooch | 21 |
| #68 | cinnamon troll doll | 1 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #164 | depantsing bomb | 35 |
| #44 | disco ball | 2,017 |
| #80 | disco mask | 908 |
| #1578 | dusty Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #882 | fake hand | 22 |
| #62 | fudge pocket square | 1 |
| #70 | grape troll doll | 1 |
| #214 | green smoke bomb | 10 |
| #67 | gummi bowtie | 1 |
| #152 | helmet turtle | 665 |
| #1065 | jerky coins | 1 |
| #897 | kumquartz | 1 |
| #84 | kumquartz ring | 1 |
| #249 | kumquat supersucker | 1 |
| #232 | lime supersucker | 1 |
| #71 | lollipop cufflinks | 1 |
| #629 | magical pony: Spectrum Dash | 1 |
| #35 | mariachi hat | 586 |
| #127 | mime army camouflage kit | 1 |
| #27 | mime army challenge coin | 5 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (espionage) | 1 |
| #24 | mime army insignia (infantry) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #227 | mime army rations | 1 |
| #70 | mime army shotglass | 1 |
| #151 | mime army superserum | 1 |
| #205 | mime army wine | 1 |
| #72 | mime pocket probe | 1 |
| #579 | mime soul fragment | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #93 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #95 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #75 | molotov cocktail cocktail | 112 |
| #655 | old sweatpants | 93 |
| #86 | paint bomb | 29 |
| #140 | pair of pearidot earrings | 1 |
| #65 | pasta spoon | 835 |
| #294 | patchouli oil bomb | 3 |
| #206 | pear supersucker | 1 |
| #892 | pearidot | 1 |
| #420 | personal massager | 33 |
| #90 | ravioli hat | 611 |
| #58 | ridiculous belt | 1 |
| #146 | ridiculous cocktail | 11 |
| #72 | ridiculous earring | 1 |
| #136 | ridiculous sandwich | 11 |
| #65 | ridiculous sunglasses | 1 |
| #1124 | ridiculously huge sword | 1 |
| #99 | round blue bomb | 9 |
| #156 | sake bomb | 180 |
| #102 | saucepan | 823 |
| #378 | sausage bomb | 1 |
| #111 | seal-clubbing club | 775 |
| #46 | seal-skull helmet | 835 |
| #69 | silent A | 1 |
| #137 | silent B | 1 |
| #58 | silent C | 1 |
| #63 | silent D | 1 |
| #56 | silent E | 1 |
| #75 | silent F | 1 |
| #62 | silent G | 1 |
| #133 | silent H | 1 |
| #202 | silent I | 1 |
| #172 | silent J | 1 |
| #46 | silent K | 1 |
| #147 | silent L | 1 |
| #191 | silent M | 1 |
| #68 | silent N | 1 |
| #240 | silent O | 1 |
| #210 | silent P | 1 |
| #85 | silent Q | 1 |
| #62 | silent R | 1 |
| #68 | silent S | 1 |
| #65 | silent T | 1 |
| #63 | silent U | 1 |
| #73 | silent V | 1 |
| #122 | silent W | 1 |
| #185 | silent X | 1 |
| #67 | silent Y | 1 |
| #120 | silent Z | 1 |
| #370 | sorority brain | 1 |
| #109 | stolen accordion | 892 |
| #224 | strawberry supersucker | 1 |
| #917 | strawberyl | 1 |
| #77 | strawberyl necklace | 1 |
| #1711 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 1 |
| #269 | sucker bucket | 1 |
| #257 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| #219 | sucker kabuto | 1 |
| #801 | sucker scaffold | 1 |
| #278 | sucker tachi | 1 |
| #908 | tourmalime | 1 |
| #106 | tourmalime tourniquet | 1 |
| #95 | turtle totem | 817 |
| #231 | water pipe bomb | 280 |
| #830 | wind-up meatcar | 1 |