| #114 | "meat" stick | 1 |
| #12 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #7 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #9 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #10 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #41 | A Guide to Burning Leaves | 2 |
| 🥉 | Bastille Battalion control rig loaner voucher | 644 |
| #78 | Batfellow comic | 1 |
| 🥈 | Bugfinder Blade | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #33 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #35 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Crimbo dinner | 1,931 |
| 🥇 | Crimbosmopolitan | 4,478 |
| #4 | Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision (dirty) | 1 |
| #4 | Crimbot ROM: Ruthless Efficiency (dirty) | 1 |
| 🥉 | Daily Affirmation: Keep Free Hate in your Heart | 333 |
| #79 | Dark Jill-of-All-Trades | 1 |
| 🥇 | Doc Clock's thyme cocktail | 58,465 |
| 🥇 | Dreadsylvanian grimlet | 5,287 |
| 🥇 | Dreadsylvanian hot toddy | 5,256 |
| 🥇 | Dreadsylvanian slithery nipple | 2,932 |
| 🥇 | Dreadsylvanian spooky pocket | 2,675 |
| 🥇 | Dreadsylvanian stink pocket | 3,115 |
| #7 | Extrovermectin™ | 40 |
| 🥇 | Gets-You-Drunk | 7,206 |
| #56 | Greatest American Pants | 1 |
| 🥇 | Hodgman's blanket | 5,526 |
| 🥉 | Knob Goblin visor | 139,523 |
| 🥇 | Mr. Burnsger | 10,118 |
| #5 | Neverending Party favor | 518 |
| #245 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 14 |
| #10 | Purple Beast energy drink | 1,571 |
| #29 | Rock Garden Guide | 2 |
| #31 | S.I.T. Course Voucher | 2 |
| #6 | Schrödinger's thermos | 6,144 |
| 🥈 | Shot of Kardashian Gin | 5,828 |
| #7 | Spelunker of Fortune (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Stephen's lab coat | 493 |
| #68 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used) | 1 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| #8 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #48 | The Joy of Wassailing (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Mad Liquor | 24,242 |
| #57 | The Necbronomicon (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 1 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Night Before Crimbo, Ch. 6 (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Superconductor's CPU | 18 |
| #54 | Third Base | 1 |
| 🥇 | Thwaitgold protozoa statuette | 631 |
| #9 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 72 |
| #5 | Twelve Night Energy | 204 |
| #22 | Uncle Romulus (used) | 1 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| #1455 | anniversary gift box | 3 |
| 🥈 | anti-pain cream | 508 |
| #572 | antique pair of blue jeans | 1 |
| #241 | antique record album | 11 |
| #485 | armgun | 1 |
| #30 | baby chest mimic | 4 |
| 🥈 | battery (AAA) | 7,741 |
| 🥇 | blood sausage | 5,444 |
| #428 | bone flute | 1 |
| #57 | book of facts | 2 |
| 🥈 | bottle of Bloodweiser | 2,723 |
| 🥇 | bottle of Crimbognac | 9,111 |
| 🥇 | bottle of Greedy Dog | 1,416 |
| #1904 | box of sunshine | 75 |
| #44 | boxed Apriling band helmet | 2 |
| #14 | boxed Mayam Calendar | 5 |
| #26 | boxed august scepter | 3 |
| #29 | boxed autumn-aton | 2 |
| #4 | candy cane | 27,238 |
| #53 | cartoon harpoon | 1 |
| #36 | closed-circuit phone system | 2 |
| #816 | cloudy potion | 3 |
| #46 | combat lover's locket lockbox | 1 |
| #201 | creepy ginger ale | 1 |
| #33 | cursed monkey glove | 3 |
| 🥈 | deluxe fax machine | 82 |
| #26 | designer sweatpants (new old stock) | 2 |
| #4 | do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit | 21 |
| 🥇 | drive-by shooting | 3,019 |
| #4 | electronic Brain Trainer game | 4 |
| #5 | emergency margarita | 319 |
| #197 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 14 |
| #969 | evil golden arch | 1 |
| #276 | extra-greasy slider | 8 |
| 🥇 | frozen banquet | 1,859 |
| 🥇 | ghost pepper | 12,503 |
| #36 | gold skull ring | 1 |
| 🥈 | gold wedding ring | 1,219 |
| #46 | in-the-box spring shoes | 2 |
| #9 | jar of fermented pickle juice | 1,841 |
| 🥈 | jawbruiser | 6,812 |
| #21 | kobold treasure hoard | 1 |
| #6 | lupine appetite hormones | 95 |
| #661 | milky potion | 7 |
| #406 | monkey wrench | 2 |
| #12 | mummified entombed cookbookbat | 3 |
| #2218 | old sweatpants | 1 |
| #47 | one-day ticket to That 70s Volcano | 1 |
| #231 | orcish hand lotion | 1 |
| #189 | orcish nailing lube | 3 |
| #168 | orcish stud-finder | 1 |
| #43 | packaged Everfull Dart Holster | 2 |
| #24 | packaged June cleaver | 2 |
| #33 | packaged Jurassic Parka | 2 |
| #35 | packaged model train set | 2 |
| #122 | plain brown wrapper | 7 |
| 🥉 | portable photocopier | 1,453 |
| #48 | potato alarm clock | 5 |
| 🥉 | puppet strings | 1,508 |
| #123 | pygmy briefs | 1 |
| 🥉 | quantum taco | 7,280 |
| 🥉 | reflection of a map | 1,222 |
| #2271 | roll of toilet paper | 1 |
| #47 | runproof mascara | 6 |
| #304 | sandwich of the gods | 14 |
| #43 | sleeping patriotic eagle | 2 |
| #746 | solid gold pegleg | 1 |
| 🥇 | stinkwater | 3,720 |
| 🥇 | sunken chest | 141,108 |
| 🥇 | swirling mushroom wine | 1,295 |
| #4 | the Crymbich Manuscript (used) | 1 |
| 🥇 | vampagne | 1,504 |
| #40 | vampyric cloake pattern | 1 |
| #52 | very small red dress | 5 |
| 🥇 | vintage smart drink | 3,504 |
| #45 | warbear metalworking primer (used) | 1 |
| #205 | warehouse key | 2 |
| #23 | wax lips | 1 |
| #50 | wrapped candy cane sword cane | 2 |