| #25 | "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt | 1 |
| 🥈 | Abuela Crimbo's special magnet | 1 |
| #19 | Amulet of Perpetual Darkness | 1 |
| #43 | Arrow (+1) | 1 |
| #53 | Azurite | 1 |
| #24 | Charter: Nellyville | 1 |
| #35 | Crimbo cookie sheet | 1 |
| #226 | Crimbo train emergency brake | 1 |
| #86 | Crimbuccaneer breeches | 1 |
| #126 | Crimbuccaneer captain's purse | 1 |
| #97 | Crimbuccaneer flotsam | 117 |
| #107 | Crimbuccaneer piece of 12 | 140 |
| #91 | Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack | 1 |
| #127 | Crimbuccaneer shirt | 1 |
| #84 | Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss | 1 |
| #104 | Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate | 1 |
| #86 | Crimbuccaneer tricorn | 1 |
| #52 | Elf Army machine parts | 65 |
| 🥉 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used) | 1 |
| #153 | Elf Guard MPC | 1,512 |
| #52 | Elf Guard clipboard | 1 |
| #83 | Elf Guard hotpants | 1 |
| #84 | Elf Guard patrol cap | 1 |
| #118 | Elf Guard payroll bag | 1 |
| #84 | Elf Guard strategic map | 1 |
| #48 | Eye Agate | 1 |
| #26 | Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory | 1 |
| #30 | Giant black monolith | 1 |
| #62 | LOLmec statuette | 1 |
| #52 | Lapis Lazuli | 1 |
| #29 | Letter from Carrie Bradshaw | 1 |
| #27 | Loathing Idol Microphone | 1 |
| #14 | Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged) | 1 |
| #17 | Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged) | 1 |
| #32 | Manual of Secret Door Detection | 1 |
| #31 | Meat Butler | 1 |
| #30 | Mr. Accessaturday | 1 |
| #13 | Mr. Big's Wallet | 1 |
| #612 | PADL Phone | 1 |
| #2360 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 1 |
| #20 | Sexy Cosmo | 1 |
| #15 | Souvenir Chopsticks | 1 |
| #27 | Spooky VHS Tape | 1 |
| #136 | Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette | 3 |
| #411 | Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette | 1 |
| #837 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 1 |
| #428 | Thwaitgold cockroach statuette | 1 |
| #256 | Thwaitgold fairyfly statue | 1 |
| #152 | Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette | 1 |
| #99 | Thwaitgold harvestman statuette | 1 |
| #319 | Thwaitgold keyhole spider statuette | 1 |
| #180 | Thwaitgold listening bug statuette | 1 |
| #1813 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 1 |
| #625 | Thwaitgold mosquito statuette | 1 |
| #1304 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 1 |
| #98 | Thwaitgold shield bug statuette | 1 |
| #538 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 5 |
| #280 | Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette | 1 |
| #1267 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 1 |
| #111 | Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette | 1 |
| #175 | Trainbot circuitry | 1 |
| #73 | Trainbot harness | 1 |
| #166 | Trainbot linkages | 1 |
| #164 | Trainbot optics | 1 |
| #169 | Trainbot plating | 1 |
| #161 | Trainbot servomotors | 1 |
| #173 | Trainbot tubing | 1 |
| #117 | antique accordion | 1 |
| #76 | barnacle-encrusted sweater | 1 |
| #227 | battered hubcap | 1 |
| #572 | beer bong | 1 |
| #673 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #117 | beer-a-pult | 1 |
| #745 | bejeweled pledge pin | 1 |
| #592 | bullet-proof corduroys | 1 |
| #56 | chest of "pirate gold" | 1 |
| #651 | communications windchimes | 1 |
| #587 | distressed denim pants | 1 |
| #2229 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 1 |
| #17 | flaming leaf crown | 1 |
| #205 | floorboard cruft | 1 |
| 🥇 | goo magnet | 1 |
| #1030 | green clay bead | 1 |
| #339 | huge Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #531 | kick-ass kicks | 1 |
| #444 | mariachi hat | 1 |
| #2222 | old sweatpants | 1 |
| #116 | pet anchor | 1 |
| #193 | ping-pong ball | 1 |
| #51 | ping-pong paddle | 1 |
| #20 | pro skateboard | 1 |
| #15 | red-soled high heels | 1 |
| #577 | reinforced beaded headband | 1 |
| #638 | round purple sunglasses | 1 |
| #2416 | sandwich of the gods | 1 |
| #41 | scroll of minor invulnerability | 1 |
| #42 | scroll of protection from lycanthropes | 1 |
| #79 | shadow bread | 1 |
| #57 | shadow brick | 1 |
| #13 | shadow candle | 1 |
| #18 | shadow candy | 1 |
| #15 | shadow chef's hat | 1 |
| #70 | shadow flame | 1 |
| #70 | shadow fluid | 1 |
| #60 | shadow glass | 1 |
| #13 | shadow hammer | 1 |
| #23 | shadow hot dog | 1 |
| #57 | shadow ice | 1 |
| #22 | shadow martini | 1 |
| #14 | shadow monocle | 1 |
| #66 | shadow nectar | 1 |
| #12 | shadow needle | 1 |
| #23 | shadow pill | 1 |
| #73 | shadow sausage | 1 |
| #61 | shadow sinew | 1 |
| #73 | shadow skin | 1 |
| #58 | shadow stick | 1 |
| #13 | shadow trousers | 1 |
| #66 | shadow venom | 1 |
| #1825 | stolen accordion | 1 |
| #96 | stuffed kraken | 1 |
| #1189 | ten-leaf clover | 1 |
| #16 | tiny plastic Abuela's cottage | 1 |
| #21 | tiny plastic Armory | 1 |
| #18 | tiny plastic Bar | 1 |
| #18 | tiny plastic Cafe | 1 |
| #47 | tiny plastic Crimbo caroler | 1 |
| #42 | tiny plastic Crimbo cheer | 1 |
| #4232 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 1 |
| #820 | tiny plastic Duke Starkiller | 1 |
| #20 | tiny plastic Factory | 1 |
| #792 | tiny plastic Gary Claybender | 1 |
| #4543 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #8127 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #39 | tiny plastic caboose | 1 |
| #38 | tiny plastic chem lab | 1 |
| #37 | tiny plastic coal car | 1 |
| #36 | tiny plastic dining car | 1 |
| #4497 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #38 | tiny plastic food lab | 1 |
| #4346 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #4467 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #4450 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 1 |
| #4481 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #72 | void burger | 1 |
| #68 | void lager | 1 |
| #86 | void stone | 1 |