| #24 | "I survived Y2K" T-Shirt | 1 |
| 🥈 | Abuela Crimbo's special magnet | 1 |
| #19 | Amulet of Perpetual Darkness | 1 |
| #40 | Arrow (+1) | 1 |
| #49 | Azurite | 1 |
| #22 | Charter: Nellyville | 1 |
| #32 | Crimbo cookie sheet | 1 |
| #220 | Crimbo train emergency brake | 1 |
| #77 | Crimbuccaneer breeches | 1 |
| #112 | Crimbuccaneer captain's purse | 1 |
| #83 | Crimbuccaneer flotsam | 117 |
| #87 | Crimbuccaneer piece of 12 | 140 |
| #86 | Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack | 1 |
| #119 | Crimbuccaneer shirt | 1 |
| #80 | Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss | 1 |
| #95 | Crimbuccaneer tattoo gift certificate | 1 |
| #79 | Crimbuccaneer tricorn | 1 |
| #45 | Elf Army machine parts | 65 |
| 🥈 | Elf Guard Field Manual: Extortion (used) | 1 |
| #133 | Elf Guard MPC | 1,512 |
| #53 | Elf Guard clipboard | 1 |
| #77 | Elf Guard hotpants | 1 |
| #81 | Elf Guard patrol cap | 1 |
| #104 | Elf Guard payroll bag | 1 |
| #79 | Elf Guard strategic map | 1 |
| #47 | Eye Agate | 1 |
| #24 | Flash Liquidizer Ultra Dousing Accessory | 1 |
| #27 | Giant black monolith | 1 |
| #61 | LOLmec statuette | 1 |
| #50 | Lapis Lazuli | 1 |
| #26 | Letter from Carrie Bradshaw | 1 |
| #24 | Loathing Idol Microphone | 1 |
| #14 | Loathing Idol Microphone (50% charged) | 1 |
| #17 | Loathing Idol Microphone (75% charged) | 1 |
| #28 | Manual of Secret Door Detection | 1 |
| #27 | Meat Butler | 1 |
| #25 | Mr. Accessaturday | 1 |
| #12 | Mr. Big's Wallet | 1 |
| #610 | PADL Phone | 1 |
| #2356 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 1 |
| #17 | Sexy Cosmo | 1 |
| #14 | Souvenir Chopsticks | 1 |
| #24 | Spooky VHS Tape | 1 |
| #121 | Thwaitgold anti-moth statuette | 3 |
| #396 | Thwaitgold bombardier beetle statuette | 1 |
| #828 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 1 |
| #232 | Thwaitgold fairyfly statue | 1 |
| #144 | Thwaitgold fire beetle statuette | 1 |
| #87 | Thwaitgold harvestman statuette | 1 |
| #146 | Thwaitgold listening bug statuette | 1 |
| #1783 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 1 |
| #1280 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 1 |
| #546 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 4 |
| #252 | Thwaitgold splendor beetle statuette | 1 |
| #1242 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 1 |
| #174 | Trainbot circuitry | 1 |
| #73 | Trainbot harness | 1 |
| #165 | Trainbot linkages | 1 |
| #163 | Trainbot optics | 1 |
| #168 | Trainbot plating | 1 |
| #159 | Trainbot servomotors | 1 |
| #171 | Trainbot tubing | 1 |
| #115 | antique accordion | 1 |
| #72 | barnacle-encrusted sweater | 1 |
| #224 | battered hubcap | 1 |
| #569 | beer bong | 1 |
| #668 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #117 | beer-a-pult | 1 |
| #743 | bejeweled pledge pin | 1 |
| #590 | bullet-proof corduroys | 1 |
| #49 | chest of "pirate gold" | 1 |
| #648 | communications windchimes | 1 |
| #582 | distressed denim pants | 1 |
| #2224 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 1 |
| #13 | flaming leaf crown | 1 |
| #204 | floorboard cruft | 1 |
| 🥇 | goo magnet | 1 |
| #1023 | green clay bead | 1 |
| #339 | huge Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| #528 | kick-ass kicks | 1 |
| #437 | mariachi hat | 1 |
| #2216 | old sweatpants | 1 |
| #110 | pet anchor | 1 |
| #192 | ping-pong ball | 1 |
| #50 | ping-pong paddle | 1 |
| #16 | pro skateboard | 1 |
| #13 | red-soled high heels | 1 |
| #576 | reinforced beaded headband | 1 |
| #634 | round purple sunglasses | 1 |
| #2409 | sandwich of the gods | 1 |
| #38 | scroll of minor invulnerability | 1 |
| #40 | scroll of protection from lycanthropes | 1 |
| #76 | shadow bread | 1 |
| #52 | shadow brick | 1 |
| #12 | shadow candle | 1 |
| #17 | shadow candy | 1 |
| #14 | shadow chef's hat | 1 |
| #66 | shadow flame | 1 |
| #65 | shadow fluid | 1 |
| #58 | shadow glass | 1 |
| #12 | shadow hammer | 1 |
| #19 | shadow hot dog | 1 |
| #54 | shadow ice | 1 |
| #20 | shadow martini | 1 |
| #14 | shadow monocle | 1 |
| #61 | shadow nectar | 1 |
| #10 | shadow needle | 1 |
| #18 | shadow pill | 1 |
| #68 | shadow sausage | 1 |
| #58 | shadow sinew | 1 |
| #72 | shadow skin | 1 |
| #55 | shadow stick | 1 |
| #13 | shadow trousers | 1 |
| #64 | shadow venom | 1 |
| #1819 | stolen accordion | 1 |
| #89 | stuffed kraken | 1 |
| #1188 | ten-leaf clover | 1 |
| #16 | tiny plastic Abuela's cottage | 1 |
| #19 | tiny plastic Armory | 1 |
| #16 | tiny plastic Bar | 1 |
| #15 | tiny plastic Cafe | 1 |
| #46 | tiny plastic Crimbo caroler | 1 |
| #41 | tiny plastic Crimbo cheer | 1 |
| #4228 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 1 |
| #800 | tiny plastic Duke Starkiller | 1 |
| #15 | tiny plastic Factory | 1 |
| #780 | tiny plastic Gary Claybender | 1 |
| #4533 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #8108 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #38 | tiny plastic caboose | 1 |
| #37 | tiny plastic chem lab | 1 |
| #38 | tiny plastic coal car | 1 |
| #35 | tiny plastic dining car | 1 |
| #4490 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #36 | tiny plastic food lab | 1 |
| #4340 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #4459 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #4445 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 1 |
| #4474 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #70 | void burger | 1 |
| #66 | void lager | 1 |
| #85 | void stone | 1 |