| #115 | "KICK ME" sign | 1 |
| #883 | Biddy Cracker's Old-Fashioned Cookbook | 1 |
| #815 | Blizzards I Have Died In | 1 |
| #117 | Chester's Aquarius medallion | 1 |
| #182 | Chester's bag of candy | 1 |
| #185 | Chester's moustache | 1 |
| #90 | Chester's sunglasses | 1 |
| #212 | Frosty's carrot | 1 |
| #196 | Frosty's nailbat | 1 |
| #214 | Frosty's old silk hat | 1 |
| #121 | Frosty's snowball sack | 1 |
| #95 | Hodgman's harmonica | 1 |
| #129 | Hodgman's lobsterskin pants | 1 |
| #64 | Hodgman's lucky sock | 1 |
| #837 | Kissin' Cousins | 1 |
| #108 | LCD game: Burger Belt | 1 |
| #107 | LCD game: Food Eater | 1 |
| #108 | LCD game: Garbage River | 1 |
| #1061 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #16 | Mint-in-box Moonthril Circlet | 1 |
| #15 | Mint-in-box Moonthril Cuirass | 1 |
| #11 | Mint-in-box Moonthril Flamberge | 1 |
| #14 | Mint-in-box Moonthril Greaves | 1 |
| #13 | Mint-in-box Moonthril Longbow | 1 |
| #34 | Ms. Accessory | 1 |
| #216 | Ol' Scratch's ash can | 1 |
| #128 | Ol' Scratch's infernal pitchfork | 1 |
| #196 | Ol' Scratch's ol' britches | 1 |
| #92 | Ol' Scratch's stove door | 1 |
| #186 | Ol' Scratch's stovepipe hat | 1 |
| #187 | Oscus's dumpster waders | 1 |
| #106 | Oscus's garbage can lid | 1 |
| #8 | Oscus's neverending soda | 1 |
| #193 | Oscus's pelt | 1 |
| #21 | Staff of Simmering Hatred | 1 |
| #6 | Staff of the Deepest Freeze | 1 |
| #85 | Staff of the Greasefire | 1 |
| #5 | Staff of the Scummy Sink | 1 |
| #66 | Staff of the Short Order Cook | 1 |
| #121 | Staff of the Soupbone | 1 |
| #14 | Stephen's secret formula | 55 |
| #945 | Summer Nights | 1 |
| #187 | Zombo's shield | 1 |
| #104 | Zombo's shoulder blade | 1 |
| #191 | Zombo's skullcap | 1 |
| #74 | abstraction: action | 1 |
| #68 | abstraction: category | 1 |
| #55 | abstraction: certainty | 1 |
| #22 | abstraction: comprehension | 1 |
| #51 | abstraction: joy | 1 |
| #56 | abstraction: motion | 1 |
| #68 | abstraction: perception | 1 |
| #72 | abstraction: purpose | 1 |
| #83 | abstraction: sensation | 1 |
| #76 | abstraction: thought | 1 |
| #4 | bowling ball | 2,500 |
| 🥇 | bubblin' crude | 151,000 |
| #81 | cap gun | 2 |
| #80 | confiscated cell phone | 2 |
| #94 | confiscated comic book | 2 |
| #24 | fudge-shaped hole in space-time | 143 |
| #76 | plastic nunchaku | 1 |
| #26 | plush alielf | 1 |
| #15 | plush alien hamsterpus | 1 |
| #16 | plush dogcat | 1 |
| #15 | plush ferrelf | 1 |
| #33 | plush hamsterpus | 1 |
| #16 | plush mutated alielephant | 1 |
| #11 | plush mutated alielf | 1 |
| #18 | reusable shopping bag | 4 |
| #79 | sticky hand whip | 1 |