| #96 | Crimbo stocking | 1 |
| #1494 | Crown of the Goblin King | 14 |
| #20 | El Vibrato trapezoid | 2 |
| #469 | Mad Train wine | 205 |
| #10 | Meleegra™ pills | 1,854 |
| #101 | Mob Penguin protection contract | 99 |
| #1598 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 2 |
| 🥇 | Spam Witch sammich | 530,397 |
| #63 | Staff of Blood and Pudding | 1 |
| #27 | Staff of the Grand Flambé | 1 |
| #65 | Staff of the Short Order Cook | 1 |
| #273 | Valentine | 111 |
| #1642 | badass belt | 33 |
| #664 | balloon monkey | 2 |
| #3682 | bottle of goofballs | 3 |
| #6258 | box of sunshine | 3 |
| #87 | delicious salad | 387 |
| #20 | drab sonata | 844 |
| #98 | draggin' ball hat | 120 |
| #1642 | easter egg balloon | 14 |
| #469 | flashing novelty button | 3 |
| #803 | grue egg | 33 |
| #642 | orange glowstick | 3 |
| #30 | orange traffic cone | 1 |
| #155 | petrified time | 3 |
| #2047 | pixellated candy heart | 1 |
| #9 | red traffic cone | 1 |
| #1702 | sandwich of the gods | 2 |
| #13 | small Crimbo Pressie | 1 |
| #324 | spring | 74 |
| #798 | stainless steel scarf | 4 |
| #932 | stainless steel skullcap | 4 |
| #2248 | stainless steel slacks | 1 |
| #1344 | stainless steel suspenders | 2 |
| 🥇 | styrofoam peanuts | 1 |
| #4912 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 3 |
| #4540 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #3303 | tiny plastic angry goat | 5 |
| #3972 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 4 |
| #3936 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 4 |
| #829 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 21 |
| #4873 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 3 |
| #3957 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 4 |
| #2687 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 2 |
| #6179 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 2 |
| #4856 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 3 |
| #6153 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 2 |
| #4809 | tiny plastic grue | 3 |
| #4595 | tiny plastic hermit | 1 |
| #3970 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 4 |
| #271 | tiny plastic killer bee | 53 |
| #189 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 73 |
| #380 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 41 |
| #170 | tiny plastic mosquito | 77 |
| #4343 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #4797 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 3 |
| #4463 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #2608 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 2 |
| #787 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 22 |
| #227 | tiny plastic stab bat | 62 |
| #260 | tiny plastic star starfish | 53 |
| #4479 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #31 | toast | 123,676 |
| #67 | unidentified jerky | 769 |
| #385 | wang | 3 |
| #100 | worthless gewgaw | 130 |
| #78 | worthless trinket | 200 |
| #38 | yellow traffic cone | 1 |