| #52 | "DRINK ME" potion | 1,092 |
| #967 | A. W. O. L. commendation | 1 |
| #37 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #33 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #35 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) (used) | 1 |
| #32 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 1 |
| #1087 | Drowsy Sword | 12 |
| #652 | Elf Farm Raffle ticket | 1 |
| #486 | FDKOL commendation | 280 |
| 🥉 | Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used) | 1 |
| #772 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 35 |
| #2543 | Scalp of Gorgolok | 1 |
| #68 | Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (used) | 1 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| #5 | The Joy of Wassailing (used) | 2 |
| #57 | The Necbronomicon (used) | 1 |
| #448 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 9 |
| #1013 | Thwaitgold butterfly statuette | 1 |
| #671 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 5 |
| 🥇 | Ze™ goggles | 81,377 |
| #24 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used) | 1 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| #2997 | badass belt | 15 |
| #282 | bunch of square grapes | 13 |
| #28 | cactus monocle | 1 |
| #191 | crystalline cheer | 565 |
| #186 | designer handbag | 14 |
| 🥇 | discarded swimming trunks | 3,065 |
| #130 | eldritch effluvium | 733 |
| #7 | giant candy cane | 167 |
| #150 | hardened slime hat | 1 |
| #1502 | helmet turtle | 4 |
| #626 | hideous egg | 1 |
| #453 | intriguing puzzle box | 1 |
| #70 | mime army shotglass | 1 |
| #169 | mysterious present | 1 |
| #128 | negative lump | 826 |
| #330 | phish stick | 3 |
| 🥇 | pool torpedo | 52,103 |
| #408 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| 🥇 | stylish swimsuit | 72,533 |
| 🥇 | teflon swim fins | 372 |
| #124 | useless powder | 2,061 |
| #20 | warbear empathy chip (used) | 1 |
| #45 | warbear metalworking primer (used) | 1 |
| #228 | white class ring | 43 |