| #774 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #840 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 3 |
| #1423 | 6-ball | 1 |
| #1666 | Angry Farmer candy | 6 |
| #10 | BGE shotglass | 309 |
| #358 | Bash-Ōs boxtop | 3 |
| #1117 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 1 |
| #1013 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 1 |
| #509 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 2 |
| #1020 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 1 |
| #1009 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 1 |
| #65 | Mr. Accessory | 3 |
| #134 | X-37 gun | 1 |
| #801 | acid-squirting flower | 2 |
| #1006 | acoustic guitarrr | 1 |
| #616 | all-purpose cleaner | 2 |
| #256 | ancient Magi-Wipes | 24 |
| #488 | ancient protein powder | 4 |
| #257 | ant sickle | 1 |
| #138 | anti-anti-antidote | 43 |
| #1583 | awful poetry journal | 4 |
| #7431 | badass belt | 1 |
| #356 | baseball | 12 |
| #531 | bat guano | 11 |
| #512 | bat wing | 16 |
| #605 | batblade | 2 |
| #600 | batgut | 23 |
| #1445 | battered Crimbo Crate | 2 |
| #681 | beach glass bead | 1 |
| #767 | beer bomb | 6 |
| #453 | beer helmet | 5 |
| #357 | bejeweled pledge pin | 10 |
| #345 | big bad voodoo mask | 1 |
| #1005 | big red clown nose | 1 |
| #800 | bilge wine | 1 |
| #380 | bird rib | 1 |
| #1500 | bit of clingfilm | 1 |
| #549 | bit-o-cactus | 2 |
| #1125 | dusty Crimbo crate | 4 |
| #226 | glow-in-the-dark dart gun | 1 |
| #152 | glow-in-the-dark stuffed burrowgrub | 1 |
| #264 | glow-in-the-dark wristwatch | 1 |
| #57 | paperclip | 988 |
| #55 | square CRIMBCOOKIE | 15 |
| #1453 | sturdy Crimbo crate | 3 |
| #103 | sugar cherry | 15 |
| #98 | sugar lime | 11 |
| #3981 | tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf | 1 |
| #2306 | tiny plastic Crimbo reindeer | 3 |
| #55 | tiny plastic Mob Penguin | 14 |
| #51 | tiny plastic chunk of depleted Grimacite | 11 |
| #45 | tiny plastic fat stack of cash | 16 |
| #36 | tiny plastic strand of DNA | 15 |