| #1221 | Argarggagarg's fang | 1 |
| #19 | Cocktails of the Age of Sail | 4 |
| #11 | Cold One | 1,627 |
| #62 | Crimbo food scraps | 147 |
| #59 | Crimbuccaneer bombjacket | 1 |
| #113 | Crimbuccaneer captain's purse | 1 |
| #13 | Crimbuccaneer fledges (disintegrating) | 4 |
| #52 | Crimbuccaneer lantern | 1 |
| #34 | Crimbuccaneer nose ring | 2 |
| #44 | Crimbuccaneer premium booty sack | 3 |
| #47 | Crimbuccaneer runebone | 1 |
| #81 | Crimbuccaneer squirtblunderbuss | 1 |
| #9 | Crimbuccaneer tavern swab | 4 |
| #1650 | Drowsy Sword | 5 |
| #24 | Elf Guard SCUBA tank | 2 |
| #24 | Elf Guard broom | 2 |
| #29 | Elf Guard clipboard | 2 |
| #63 | Elf Guard fuel tank | 1 |
| #33 | Elf Guard honor present | 9 |
| #51 | Elf Guard insignia (general) | 2 |
| #54 | Elf Guard red and white beret | 1 |
| #31 | Elf Guard safety bear | 4 |
| #19 | Elf Guard squirtgun | 3 |
| #39 | Elf Guard temporary (permanent) tattoo | 3 |
| #37 | Elvish underarmor | 1 |
| #347 | Hollandaise helmet | 5 |
| #997 | Iron Beta of Industry | 4 |
| #106 | Jamaican coffee | 1 |
| #48 | Lil' Snowball Factory | 4 |
| #2315 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 6 |
| #559 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 12 |
| 🥈 | Pocket Guide to Mild Evil (used) | 1 |
| #9 | Pocket Square of Loathing | 81 |
| #82 | The Encyclopedia of Fruit | 1 |
| #1000 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 3 |
| #13 | Thwaitgold fairyfly statue | 81 |
| #87 | Thwaitgold harvestman statuette | 1 |
| #32 | Thwaitgold listening bug statuette | 6 |
| #345 | Thwaitgold nymph statuette | 2 |
| #93 | Thwaitgold protozoa statuette | 6 |
| #111 | Thwaitgold quantum bug statuette | 12 |
| #638 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 6 |
| #161 | Thwaitgold slug statuette | 32 |
| #15 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 520 |
| #38 | Thwaitgold wolf spider statuette | 5 |
| #48 | ancient Elf dessert spoon | 1 |
| #4730 | badass belt | 6 |
| #42 | barnacle-encrusted sweater | 2 |
| #5030 | bottle of goofballs | 1 |
| #3696 | box of sunshine | 17 |
| #58 | brown pirate pants | 1 |
| #227 | burrowgrub hive | 1 |
| #294 | chocomotive | 1 |
| #53 | cinnamon machine oil | 244 |
| #244 | club necklace | 23 |
| #121 | corned beet | 2 |
| #237 | diamond necklace | 22 |
| #1644 | disco ball | 2 |
| #1200 | disco mask | 6 |
| #98 | dregs of a Crimbo cocktail | 67 |
| #197 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 14 |
| #14 | free boots | 3 |
| #389 | fuzzy busby | 6 |
| #9 | government requisition form | 589 |
| #174 | green clay bead | 71 |
| #6 | grog nuts | 127 |
| #31 | gunwale | 1 |
| #311 | heart necklace | 20 |
| #1502 | helmet turtle | 4 |
| #44 | honey-drenched ham slice | 174 |
| #492 | left half of a heart necklace | 1 |
| #20 | lost elf luggage | 441 |
| #348 | mariachi hat | 4 |
| #59 | massive wrench | 1 |
| #49 | mostly-empty bottle of cookie wine | 150 |
| #16 | officer's nog | 81 |
| #7 | old-school pirate grog | 148 |
| #269 | ornate picture frame | 4 |
| #1155 | pasta spoon | 5 |
| #14 | pegfinger | 29 |
| #11 | peppermint bomb | 58 |
| #35 | peppermint tack | 31 |
| #86 | pet anchor | 2 |
| #215 | pink clay bead | 91 |
| #41 | pirate encryption key alpha | 1 |
| #40 | pirate encryption key bravo | 1 |
| #28 | pirate encryption key delta | 2 |
| #22 | punching mirror | 3 |
| #1193 | ravioli hat | 4 |
| #16 | red and white claret | 29 |
| #41 | replica Elf Guard medal | 1 |
| #554 | right half of a heart necklace | 1 |
| #349 | rubber WWJD? bracelet | 19 |
| #455 | rubber WWSPD? bracelet | 15 |
| #304 | sandwich of the gods | 14 |
| #1344 | saucepan | 5 |
| #1037 | sawblade shield | 1 |
| #41 | sawed-off blunderbuss | 7 |
| #1232 | seal-clubbing club | 5 |
| #34 | sequin-encrusted sweater | 2 |
| #295 | smart skull | 52 |
| #14 | spaghetti breakfast | 1,525 |
| #53 | spectre scepter | 287 |
| #1341 | stolen accordion | 5 |
| #327 | stuffed Cheshire bitten | 106 |
| #44 | stuffed Hodgman | 5 |
| #504 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 82 |
| #363 | stuffed angry cow | 103 |
| #457 | stuffed astral badger | 92 |
| #395 | stuffed baby gravy fairy | 101 |
| #362 | stuffed flaming gravy fairy | 108 |
| #423 | stuffed frozen gravy fairy | 97 |
| #374 | stuffed hand turkey | 101 |
| #17 | stuffed kraken | 13 |
| #338 | stuffed mind flayer | 110 |
| #411 | stuffed scary death orb | 97 |
| #355 | stuffed sleazy gravy fairy | 105 |
| #441 | stuffed snowy owl | 91 |
| #551 | stuffed spooky gravy fairy | 81 |
| #304 | stuffed stinky gravy fairy | 112 |
| #36 | sundae ration | 21 |
| #70 | trick coin | 1 |
| #1411 | turtle totem | 5 |
| #205 | warehouse key | 2 |
| #58 | whalecake | 1 |
| #17 | whalegun | 3 |
| #9 | whalesteak | 88 |
| #14 | white lightning | 3,355 |
| #56 | witch's brew | 1 |