| #116 | 4-dimensional fez | 1 |
| #4297 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #1257 | Baron von Ratsworth's tophat | 1 |
| 🥇 | Book of Old-Timey Carols | 1 |
| #2652 | Crown of the Goblin King | 5 |
| #16 | Dolph Bossin's Crimbo hat | 1 |
| #1415 | Dolphin King's crown | 2 |
| #2742 | Drowsy Sword | 1 |
| #205 | Friendliness Beverage | 16 |
| #126 | Frostâ„¢ brand sword | 1 |
| #1058 | Knob Goblin scimitar | 1 |
| #136 | Mark V Steam-Hat | 1 |
| #368 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I | 1 |
| #385 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter II | 1 |
| #382 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III | 1 |
| #328 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter IV | 1 |
| #313 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V | 1 |
| #319 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter VI | 1 |
| #232 | O'RLY manual | 1 |
| #127 | Saturday Night Special | 1 |
| #172 | Super Magic Power Sword X | 1 |
| #1037 | The Mariachi's guitar case | 1 |
| 🥈 | The Spirit of Giving (used) | 1 |
| #326 | Tuesday's ruby | 6 |
| #365 | a butt tuba | 1 |
| #1006 | acoustic guitarrr | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| #118 | anticheese | 111 |
| #212 | antique machete | 1 |
| #18 | arm buzzer | 1 |
| #435 | asbestos crossbow | 1 |
| #478 | asbestos sword | 1 |
| #389 | black kettle drum | 1 |
| #575 | blue class ring | 3 |
| #20 | boilgun | 1 |
| #429 | bone flute | 1 |
| #83 | bottle of drinkin' gas | 1 |
| #84 | brown felt tophat | 16 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #1090 | chaos butterfly | 27 |
| #452 | chrome crossbow | 1 |
| #523 | chrome sword | 1 |
| #207 | death blossom | 1 |
| #436 | dented harmonica | 1 |
| #207 | devilish folio | 1 |
| #755 | diamond-studded cane | 3 |
| #597 | didgeridooka | 1 |
| #530 | disturbing fanfic | 171 |
| #81 | drum of tommy ammo | 22 |
| #344 | fat stacks of cash | 27 |
| #102 | fire of unknown origin | 8 |
| #529 | fire poi | 1 |
| #135 | fireball | 1 |
| #126 | flaming cardboard sword | 1 |
| #53 | foam pistol | 1 |
| #394 | gold lamé pants | 1 |
| #591 | gold wedding ring | 4 |
| #89 | government | 1 |
| #427 | grassy cutlass | 1 |
| #122 | grease gun | 1 |
| #984 | guy made of bee pollen | 1 |
| 🥇 | hand-knitted diving booties | 1 |
| #36 | handful of napalm | 1 |
| #601 | handsomeness potion | 1 |
| #647 | happiness | 1 |
| #1210 | heart of the volcano | 3 |
| #170 | heavy crown | 1 |
| #540 | heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr | 1 |
| #312 | hippy bongo | 1 |
| #426 | icy-hot katana | 1 |
| #355 | infernal fife | 1 |
| #63 | insane tophat | 1 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #103 | keel-haulin' knife | 1 |
| #37 | kelp-holly gun | 1 |
| #1898 | kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #367 | knob bugle | 1 |
| #456 | linoleum crossbow | 1 |
| #521 | linoleum sword | 1 |
| #141 | little black book | 1 |
| #64 | long-forgotten necklace | 1 |
| #425 | lupine sword | 1 |
| #651 | magical pony: Shutterfly | 1 |
| #491 | magilaser blastercannon | 1 |
| #39 | magnolia blossom | 12 |
| #180 | massive sitar | 1 |
| #2028 | monomolecular yo-yo | 1 |
| #152 | muculent machete | 1 |
| #690 | mugcake | 1 |
| #96 | nasty rat mask | 1 |
| #468 | ocarina of space | 1 |
| #186 | old sweatpants | 378 |
| #22 | opium grenade | 14 |
| #189 | out-of-tune biwa | 1 |
| 🥇 | oxygenated eggnog helmet | 1 |
| #90 | pencil stub | 7 |
| 🥇 | peppermint harpoon gun | 1 |
| #610 | perforated battle paddle | 1 |
| #104 | pestoblade | 1 |
| #150 | pewter claymore | 1 |
| #908 | photoprotoneutron torpedo | 5 |
| #157 | pie man was not meant to eat | 15 |
| #134 | plaid cowboy hat | 1 |
| #465 | plastic guitar | 1 |
| #143 | potato pistol | 1 |
| #145 | red book | 1 |
| #665 | red class ring | 9 |
| #72 | repeating crossbow | 1 |
| #127 | rusted-out shootin' iron | 1 |
| #241 | shiny butcherknife | 4 |
| #161 | shiny hood ornament | 7 |
| #2009 | shiny ring | 5 |
| #264 | shiny tribal beads | 1 |
| #89 | shuddersword | 1 |
| #233 | silent pea shooter | 1 |
| #620 | silver shrimp fork | 2 |
| #282 | skull of the Bonerdagon | 3 |
| #397 | snarling wolf shield | 1 |
| #2034 | solid gold bowling ball | 3 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #285 | sword behind inappropriate prepositions | 1 |
| #172 | sword of static | 1 |
| #39 | swordzall | 1 |
| #8189 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 1 |
| #47 | tiny plastic Crimbo caroler | 1 |
| #42 | tiny plastic Crimbo cheer | 1 |
| #59 | tiny plastic Dolph Bossin | 1 |
| #814 | tiny plastic Duke Starkiller | 1 |
| #789 | tiny plastic Gary Claybender | 1 |
| #782 | tiny plastic Jared the Duskwalker | 1 |
| #46 | tiny plastic Mer-kin baker | 1 |
| #40 | tiny plastic Penny | 1 |
| #4541 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 1 |
| #8211 | tiny plastic angry goat | 1 |
| #8250 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 1 |
| #8124 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #4477 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 1 |
| #8174 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 1 |
| #8093 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 1 |
| #8218 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 1 |
| #4495 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #52 | tiny plastic dolphin "orphan" | 1 |
| #8151 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #8184 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 1 |
| #8092 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #8057 | tiny plastic grue | 1 |
| #4598 | tiny plastic hermit | 1 |
| #8127 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 1 |
| #8067 | tiny plastic killer bee | 1 |
| #8200 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 1 |
| #8101 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 1 |
| #8109 | tiny plastic mosquito | 1 |
| #46 | tiny plastic multi-level marketer | 1 |
| #4344 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #8100 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 1 |
| #45 | tiny plastic sea elf | 1 |
| #4452 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 1 |
| #8224 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 1 |
| #8160 | tiny plastic stab bat | 1 |
| #8135 | tiny plastic star starfish | 1 |
| #4481 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #52 | tiny plastic yuleviathan | 1 |
| #220 | titanium assault umbrella | 53 |
| #1025 | toast | 595 |
| #71 | tommy gun | 3 |
| #1010 | valuable trinket | 51 |
| #226 | very overdue library book | 1 |
| #245 | vorpal blade | 33 |
| #265 | wand of pigification | 1 |
| #550 | white class ring | 10 |
| #853 | white sword | 1 |
| #566 | witty rapier | 1 |
| #280 | world's smallest violin | 1 |
| #48 | worn tophat | 107 |
| #228 | ye olde golde frontes | 1 |