| #22 | Engorged Sausages and You | 1 |
| #170 | Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy | 1 |
| #13 | Field Guide to Skeletal Anatomy (shredded) | 1 |
| #30 | Folder Holder | 1 |
| 🥈 | Grimacite gat | 2 |
| #7 | HOA regulation book | 1 |
| #6 | How to Hold a Grudge | 1 |
| 🥉 | How to Tolerate Jerks | 1 |
| #1063 | Let Me Be! | 1 |
| #21 | Manual of Transcendent Olfaction | 1 |
| #23 | Mr. Eh? | 1 |
| #144 | Really Expensive Jewelry and You | 1 |
| #127 | Saturday Night Special | 1 |
| #975 | Sensual Massage for Creeps | 1 |
| #471 | Sinful Desires | 1 |
| #600 | The Art of Slapfighting | 1 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| #302 | The Necbronomicon | 1 |
| #835 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 1 |
| #936 | Travels with Jerry | 1 |
| #7 | abridged dictionary | 1 |
| #5 | best joke ever | 1 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| #29 | box of sunshine | 16,332 |
| 🥈 | candy cane | 60,027 |
| #4 | chef-in-the-box | 261 |
| 🥇 | club necklace | 7,082 |
| #113 | deep six-shooter | 1 |
| #5 | dictionary | 1 |
| #1946 | facsimile dictionary | 1 |
| #39 | fancy chocolate | 40 |
| #8 | glass of bourbon | 140 |
| #119 | gun cleaning kit | 1 |
| #73 | gunpowder burrito | 1 |
| #82 | gym membership card | 1 |
| #647 | happiness | 1 |
| 🥇 | holly-flavored Hob-O | 6,664 |
| #141 | little black book | 1 |
| 🥉 | nanite-infested candy cane | 11,131 |
| #5 | off-hand balloon | 1 |
| #6 | one million meat pancakes | 1 |
| #495 | petrified time | 1 |
| #117 | pixellated candy heart | 161 |
| #7 | present | 1 |
| #150 | resolution: be feistier | 1 |
| 🥈 | scotch on the rocks | 1,247 |
| 🥉 | silver shotgun shell | 1,569 |
| #226 | very overdue library book | 1 |