| #98 | Accordion of Jordion | 1 |
| #297 | Ankh of Badahnkadh | 1 |
| #1229 | Argarggagarg's fang | 1 |
| #3369 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 2 |
| #3211 | Crown of the Goblin King | 3 |
| #2267 | Drowsy Sword | 2 |
| #1287 | Jocko Homo's head | 1 |
| #3361 | Lord Spookyraven's ear trumpet | 2 |
| #92 | Meat maid | 2 |
| #49 | Mer-kin cancerstick | 4 |
| #391 | Misty Cape | 1 |
| #368 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I | 1 |
| #386 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter II | 1 |
| #382 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III | 1 |
| #328 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter IV | 1 |
| #313 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V | 1 |
| #319 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter VI | 1 |
| #618 | Pick-O-Matic lockpicks | 1 |
| #880 | Pokëmann figurine: Bloodkip | 1 |
| #773 | Pokëmann figurine: Duck | 1 |
| #590 | Pokëmann figurine: Frank | 1 |
| #809 | Pokëmann figurine: Galumpagump | 1 |
| #773 | Pokëmann figurine: Hoboking | 1 |
| #796 | Pokëmann figurine: Kagosan | 1 |
| #878 | Pokëmann figurine: Magikrap | 1 |
| #564 | Pokëmann figurine: Moog | 1 |
| #777 | Pokëmann figurine: Nothing | 1 |
| #890 | Pokëmann figurine: Porkachu | 1 |
| #578 | Pokëmann figurine: Shoggoth | 1 |
| #898 | Pokëmann figurine: Smugleaf | 1 |
| #897 | Pokëmann figurine: Twitter | 1 |
| #864 | Pokëmann figurine: Vegemite | 1 |
| #888 | Pokëmann figurine: Vermouth | 1 |
| #24 | Riker's Search History | 1 |
| #62 | Steam Card: Dungeon Fist (#3) | 2 |
| #70 | Steam Card: Jackass Plumber (#2) | 2 |
| #54 | Steam Card: Meteoid (#1) | 2 |
| #853 | The Big Book of Pirate Insults | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #1038 | The Mariachi's guitar case | 1 |
| #838 | Thwaitgold bookworm statuette | 1 |
| #315 | Thwaitgold metabug statuette | 1 |
| #131 | Whatsian Ionic Pliers | 2 |
| #132 | accord ion | 1 |
| #71 | accordion file | 1 |
| #121 | accordionoid rocca | 1 |
| #67 | alarm accordion | 1 |
| #1082 | annoying pitchfork | 1 |
| #213 | antique machete | 1 |
| #124 | autocalliope | 1 |
| #5938 | badass belt | 3 |
| #121 | baritone accordion | 1 |
| #133 | beer-battered accordion | 1 |
| #241 | black and white cracker | 2 |
| #118 | bone bandoneon | 1 |
| #103 | candy knife | 1 |
| #128 | cheer extractor | 1 |
| #107 | cheerful Crimbo sweater | 1 |
| #87 | cheerful antler hat | 1 |
| #86 | cheerful pajama pants | 1 |
| #392 | chintzy accordion pin | 1 |
| #545 | chintzy disco ball pendant | 1 |
| #6 | cozy bazooka | 1 |
| #1979 | drywall axe | 1 |
| #100 | duonoculars | 2 |
| #151 | eleven-foot pole | 1 |
| #4737 | fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #609 | fuzzy montera | 1 |
| #100 | ghost accordion | 1 |
| #589 | ghost of a necklace | 1 |
| #1517 | giant discarded torn-up glove | 1 |
| #2536 | giant pinky ring | 1 |
| #89 | giant spider leg | 2 |
| #320 | gin-soaked blotter paper | 1 |
| #86 | glowing esca | 1 |
| #793 | gold wedding ring | 1 |
| #374 | halfberd | 1 |
| #4478 | handful of confetti | 2 |
| #1397 | heart of the volcano | 2 |
| #18 | illegal firecracker | 84 |
| #201 | leather bookmark | 1 |
| #252 | loadstone | 2 |
| #1976 | lucky rabbit's foot | 1 |
| #70 | mama's squeezebox | 1 |
| #71 | mime army challenge coin | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #70 | mime army shotglass | 1 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #93 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #96 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #109 | non-Euclidean non-accordion | 1 |
| #83 | peace accordion | 1 |
| #85 | pentatonic accordion | 1 |
| #804 | pool cue | 3 |
| #81 | pygmy concertinette | 1 |
| #140 | recording of Donho's Bubbly Ballad | 1 |
| #163 | ring of Detect Boring Doors | 1 |
| #64 | ring of telling skeletons what to do | 1 |
| #106 | robot reindeer protocol B.L.I.T.Z.E.N. | 1 |
| #106 | robot reindeer protocol C.U.P.I.D. | 1 |
| #130 | robot reindeer protocol D.A.S.H.E.R. | 1 |
| #114 | robot reindeer protocol D.O.N.N.E.R. | 1 |
| #151 | robot reindeer protocol P.R.A.N.C.E.R. | 1 |
| #103 | robot reindeer protocol R.U.D.O.L.P.H. | 1 |
| #107 | robot reindeer protocol V.I.X.E.N. | 1 |
| #79 | sharpened spoon | 1 |
| #70 | silent A | 1 |
| #138 | silent B | 1 |
| #59 | silent C | 1 |
| #63 | silent D | 1 |
| #57 | silent E | 1 |
| #77 | silent F | 1 |
| #64 | silent G | 1 |
| #29 | silent H | 7 |
| #203 | silent I | 1 |
| #173 | silent J | 1 |
| #46 | silent K | 1 |
| #150 | silent L | 1 |
| #191 | silent M | 1 |
| #70 | silent N | 1 |
| #69 | silent O | 11 |
| #212 | silent P | 1 |
| #87 | silent Q | 1 |
| #62 | silent R | 1 |
| #69 | silent S | 1 |
| #65 | silent T | 1 |
| #64 | silent U | 1 |
| #75 | silent V | 1 |
| #18 | silent W | 12 |
| #186 | silent X | 1 |
| #67 | silent Y | 1 |
| #121 | silent Z | 1 |
| #114 | silver cheese-slicer | 1 |
| #101 | silver paté knife | 1 |
| #136 | silver salt-shaker | 1 |
| #892 | silver shrimp fork | 1 |
| #175 | soap knife | 1 |
| #2844 | solid gold bowling ball | 1 |
| #3300 | spectre scepter | 2 |
| #626 | tiny ninja sword | 1 |
| #8193 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 1 |
| #68 | tiny plastic The Silent Nightmare | 1 |
| #8214 | tiny plastic angry goat | 1 |
| #8130 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 1 |
| #8176 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 1 |
| #8098 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 1 |
| #8222 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 1 |
| #8153 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 1 |
| #8190 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 1 |
| #8095 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #8060 | tiny plastic grue | 1 |
| #8070 | tiny plastic killer bee | 1 |
| #8201 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 1 |
| #8103 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic mime executive | 1 |
| #73 | tiny plastic mime functionary | 1 |
| #72 | tiny plastic mime scientist | 1 |
| #74 | tiny plastic mime soldier | 1 |
| #8114 | tiny plastic mosquito | 1 |
| #4346 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #8101 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 1 |
| #4467 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #8226 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 1 |
| #8138 | tiny plastic star starfish | 1 |
| #3861 | tiny plastic topiary golem | 1 |
| #4482 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #248 | unused walkie-talkie | 1 |
| #1404 | useless powder | 11 |
| #49 | viral video | 1 |
| 🥈 | walkie-talkie | 1 |
| #211 | wand of pigification | 2 |