| #22 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used) | 1 |
| #7 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #9 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #27 | Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used) | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #35 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) (used) | 1 |
| #137 | CSA bravery badge | 7 |
| #176 | CSA cheerfulness ration | 6 |
| #131 | CSA discount card | 24 |
| #373 | CSA fire-starting kit | 5 |
| #161 | CSA obedience grenade | 6 |
| #179 | CSA scoutmaster's "water" | 5 |
| #51 | Cold One | 52 |
| #16 | Ellsbury's journal (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used) | 1 |
| #21 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration (crumpled) | 1 |
| 🥇 | Mesmereyes™ contact lenses | 1,337 |
| #1226 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 4 |
| #22 | Uncle Romulus (used) | 1 |
| #24 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used) | 1 |
| #163 | bag of GORF | 8 |
| #157 | bag of GORP | 11 |
| #151 | bag of QWOP | 11 |
| #155 | baggie of powdered sugar | 193 |
| #210 | banana | 32 |
| #49 | banana cream pie | 12 |
| #23 | banana daiquiri | 23 |
| #35 | banana milkshake | 4 |
| #185 | banana smoothie | 4 |
| #1911 | bat-shaped Crimboween cookie | 1 |
| #138 | blank diary | 1 |
| #924 | blob-shaped Crimbo cookie | 7 |
| #937 | bunch of bananas | 1 |
| #159 | bungle in the jungle | 9 |
| #2396 | can-shaped gelatinous cranberry sauce | 2 |
| #2873 | candied yams | 1 |
| #660 | circular CRIMBCOOKIE | 3 |
| #1114 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 4 |
| #1513 | herbal stuffing | 4 |
| #759 | kumquartz | 3 |
| #1895 | magical ice cube with a fly in it | 1 |
| #54 | note from Clancy | 1 |
| #1268 | sandwich of the gods | 4 |
| #591 | square CRIMBCOOKIE | 3 |
| #7809 | stuffed Cheshire bitten | 2 |
| #5251 | stuffed MagiMechTech MicroMechaMech | 6 |
| #3095 | stuffed Meat | 1 |
| #6262 | stuffed angry cow | 4 |
| #8962 | stuffed astral badger | 1 |
| #3785 | stuffed baby gravy fairy | 11 |
| #7680 | stuffed cocoabo | 2 |
| #1162 | stuffed crazy bastard sword | 4 |
| #4051 | stuffed flaming gravy fairy | 10 |
| #4944 | stuffed frozen gravy fairy | 7 |
| #5743 | stuffed hand turkey | 5 |
| #1290 | stuffed martini | 4 |
| #6998 | stuffed mind flayer | 3 |
| #3093 | stuffed monocle | 1 |
| #5337 | stuffed scary death orb | 6 |
| #5345 | stuffed sleazy gravy fairy | 6 |
| #5315 | stuffed spooky gravy fairy | 6 |
| #4914 | stuffed stinky gravy fairy | 7 |
| #3119 | stuffed teddy butler | 1 |
| #2920 | stuffed tin of caviar | 2 |
| #4290 | stuffed undead elbow macaroni | 9 |
| #152 | stuffed yeti | 1 |
| #269 | sucker bucket | 1 |
| #257 | sucker hakama | 1 |
| #219 | sucker kabuto | 1 |
| #800 | sucker scaffold | 1 |
| #278 | sucker tachi | 1 |
| #6119 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 2 |
| #8077 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 1 |
| #8086 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 1 |
| #6150 | tiny plastic mosquito | 2 |
| #3992 | tiny plastic ninja snowman | 1 |
| #4038 | tiny plastic sweet nutcracker | 1 |
| #1904 | tofurkey gravy | 3 |
| #1886 | tofurkey leg | 3 |
| #1863 | tombstone-shaped Crimboween cookie | 1 |
| #757 | tourmalime | 3 |
| #314 | tree-shaped Crimbo cookie | 3 |
| #1041 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |