| #1435 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1425 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1453 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1016 | 30669 scroll | 1 |
| #1224 | 33398 scroll | 1 |
| #933 | 334 scroll | 1 |
| #1472 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #441 | 4-dimensional guitar | 1 |
| #1433 | 5-ball | 1 |
| #1423 | 6-ball | 1 |
| #393 | 668 scroll | 1 |
| #923 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 1 |
| #1485 | 7-ball | 1 |
| #2243 | 8-ball | 1 |
| #621 | 9-ball | 1 |
| #227 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 | 1 |
| #784 | ASCII shirt | 1 |
| #2228 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #2096 | Angry Farmer candy | 1 |
| #296 | Ankh of Badahnkadh | 1 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #610 | Baron von Ratsworth's money clip | 1 |
| #4299 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #1258 | Baron von Ratsworth's tophat | 1 |
| #615 | Bash-Ōs boxtop | 1 |
| #290 | Bash-Ōs cereal | 1 |
| #286 | Ben-Gal™ Balm | 1 |
| #931 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 1 |
| #759 | Bit O' Ectoplasm | 1 |
| #179 | Black Body™ spray | 1 |
| #773 | Black No. 2 | 1 |
| #747 | Blackfly Chardonnay | 1 |
| #254 | Bohemian rhapsody | 1 |
| #2381 | Bonerdagon necklace | 1 |
| #342 | Boozehounds Anonymous token | 1 |
| #926 | Boris's ring | 1 |
| #2771 | Boss Bat britches | 1 |
| #1502 | Bulky Buddy Box | 1 |
| #1485 | Cloaca-Cola fatigues | 1 |
| #1417 | Cloaca-Cola helmet | 1 |
| #1425 | Cloaca-Cola shield | 1 |
| #4245 | Crown of the Goblin King | 1 |
| #2054 | Dyspepsi-Cola | 1 |
| #1084 | Dyspepsi-Cola d-rations | 1 |
| #1403 | Dyspepsi-Cola fatigues | 1 |
| #1414 | Dyspepsi-Cola helmet | 1 |
| #1374 | Dyspepsi-Cola shield | 1 |
| #423 | Eau de Guaneau | 1 |
| #363 | a butt tuba | 1 |
| #706 | a little sump'm sump'm | 1 |
| #1478 | abominable snowcone | 1 |
| #1008 | acid-squirting flower | 1 |
| #1006 | acoustic guitarrr | 1 |
| #819 | adder bladder | 1 |
| #91 | albatross necklace | 1 |
| #706 | all-purpose cleaner | 1 |
| #618 | alphabet gum | 1 |
| #1432 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 1 |
| #658 | ancient Magi-Wipes | 1 |
| #671 | ancient protein powder | 1 |
| #533 | ancient spice | 1 |
| #3685 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 1 |
| #609 | ancient vinyl coin purse | 1 |
| #677 | anniversary balloon | 1 |
| #1079 | annoying pitchfork | 1 |
| #631 | ant agonist | 1 |
| #252 | ant pick | 1 |
| #249 | ant pitchfork | 1 |
| #257 | ant sickle | 1 |
| #484 | anti-anti-antidote | 1 |
| #1064 | anticheese | 1 |
| #375 | antique bottle of cough syrup | 1 |
| #884 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #731 | antique hand mirror | 1 |
| #893 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #497 | antique packet of ketchup | 1 |
| #904 | antique shield | 1 |
| #946 | antique spear | 1 |
| #485 | armgun | 1 |
| #853 | arrrgyle socks | 1 |
| #431 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #435 | asbestos crossbow | 1 |
| #478 | asbestos sword | 1 |
| #1079 | asparagus knife | 1 |
| #139 | asparagus lo mein | 1 |
| #642 | asshat | 1 |
| #1924 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #1842 | baby killer bee | 1 |
| #2445 | baconstone | 1 |
| #7431 | badass belt | 1 |
| #950 | bag of Cheat-Os | 1 |
| #753 | bag of lard | 1 |
| #2043 | ball | 1 |
| #304 | balloon helmet | 1 |
| #1026 | balloon monkey | 1 |
| #105 | balloon shield | 1 |
| #309 | balloon sword | 1 |
| #629 | ballroom blintz | 1 |
| #1237 | bar skin | 1 |
| #958 | barbed-wire fence | 1 |
| #72 | bark beret | 1 |
| #70 | bark boxers | 1 |
| #91 | bark bracelet | 1 |
| #2120 | barrrnacle | 1 |
| #185 | barskin tent | 1 |
| #198 | bartender-in-the-box | 1 |
| #902 | baseball | 1 |
| #129 | basic meat pants | 1 |
| #940 | bat guano | 1 |
| #1017 | bat wing | 1 |
| #214 | bat wing kabob | 1 |
| #783 | batblade | 1 |
| #1174 | batgut | 1 |
| #1661 | battered Crimbo Crate | 1 |
| #681 | beach glass bead | 1 |
| #282 | beanbag chair | 1 |
| #454 | beaten-up Chucks | 1 |
| #138 | beer basted brat | 1 |
| #965 | beer bomb | 1 |
| #569 | beer bong | 1 |
| #171 | beer cartilage | 1 |
| #668 | beer helmet | 1 |
| #723 | beer lens | 1 |
| #743 | bejeweled pledge pin | 1 |
| #242 | bellhop bell | 1 |
| #345 | big bad voodoo mask | 1 |
| #393 | big bass drum | 1 |
| #1005 | big red clown nose | 1 |
| #463 | big rock | 1 |
| #800 | bilge wine | 1 |
| #380 | bird rib | 1 |
| #1500 | bit of clingfilm | 1 |
| #650 | bit-o-cactus | 1 |
| #589 | black & tan | 1 |
| #509 | black eyedrops | 1 |
| #187 | black facepaint | 1 |
| #668 | black forest cake | 1 |
| #551 | black forest ham | 1 |
| #693 | black greaves | 1 |
| #694 | black helmet | 1 |
| #389 | black kettle drum | 1 |
| #2563 | black paisley oyster egg | 1 |
| #609 | black pension check | 1 |
| #578 | black pepper | 1 |
| #461 | black picnic basket | 1 |
| #1045 | black pixel | 1 |
| #632 | black pudding | 1 |
| #667 | black shield | 1 |
| #855 | black snake skin | 1 |
| #2665 | black striped oyster egg | 1 |
| #724 | black sword | 1 |
| #893 | blackberry | 1 |
| #269 | blackberry combat boots | 1 |
| #220 | blackberry moccasins | 1 |
| #226 | blackberry slippers | 1 |
| #159 | blended frozen swill | 1 |
| #1032 | bloody beer | 1 |
| #965 | bloody clown pants | 1 |
| #620 | bloody mary | 1 |
| #820 | blue class ring | 1 |
| #1228 | blue pixel | 1 |
| #379 | blue pixel potion | 1 |
| #122 | blue shell | 1 |
| #611 | blue-frosted astral cupcake | 1 |
| #241 | boilermaker | 1 |
| #428 | bone flute | 1 |
| #664 | bone rattle | 1 |
| #751 | booty chest charrrm | 1 |
| #278 | boring spaghetti | 1 |
| #743 | bottle of Monsieur Bubble | 1 |
| #564 | bottle of Mystic Shell | 1 |
| #622 | bottle of Pinot Renoir | 1 |
| #697 | bottle of alcohol | 1 |
| #670 | bottle of antifreeze | 1 |
| #305 | bottle of black cat tonic | 1 |
| #1327 | bottle of gin | 1 |
| #680 | bottle of pirate juice | 1 |
| #679 | bottle of popskull | 1 |
| #267 | bottle of realpagne | 1 |
| #1585 | bottle of rum | 1 |
| #340 | bottle of sake | 1 |
| #1066 | bottle of single-barrel whiskey | 1 |
| #1370 | bottle of tequila | 1 |
| #332 | bottle of ultravitamins | 1 |
| #1262 | bottle of vodka | 1 |
| #1505 | bottle of whiskey | 1 |
| #544 | bottle opener belt buckle | 1 |
| #317 | bottled inspiration | 1 |
| #771 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 1 |
| #91 | bowl of Bounty-Os | 1 |
| #1137 | bowl of cottage cheese | 1 |
| #450 | bowl of lucky charms | 1 |
| #1059 | box | 1 |
| #1335 | boxed wine | 1 |
| #243 | boxing glove | 1 |
| #66 | boxing glove on a spring | 1 |
| #452 | brain-meltingly-hot chicken wings | 1 |
| #2703 | brick | 1 |
| #436 | brick of sand | 1 |
| #748 | briefcase | 1 |
| #232 | broken carburetor | 1 |
| #1272 | broken skull | 1 |
| #624 | broken sword | 1 |
| #542 | bronzed locust | 1 |
| #680 | brown sugar cane | 1 |
| #615 | bubblewrap ore | 1 |
| #956 | bubbly potion | 1 |
| #249 | buckler buckle | 1 |
| #1626 | buckyball | 1 |
| #1104 | bugbear beanie | 1 |
| #1111 | bugbear bungguard | 1 |
| #590 | bullet-proof corduroys | 1 |
| #1095 | bum cheek | 1 |
| #375 | buoybottoms | 1 |
| #1107 | can of Red Minotaur | 1 |
| #1999 | candy kneecapping stick | 1 |
| #1855 | candy knuckles | 1 |
| #1031 | cast | 1 |
| #417 | cheap cigar butt | 1 |
| #776 | chewing gum on a string | 1 |
| #797 | clown shoes | 1 |
| #818 | clown skin | 1 |
| #238 | clownskin belt | 1 |
| #1271 | coconut shell | 1 |
| #1141 | cog | 1 |
| #584 | concentrated magicalness pill | 1 |
| #1241 | cranberries | 1 |
| #268 | cyclops eyedrops | 1 |
| #1293 | dead guy's watch | 1 |
| #923 | demon skin | 1 |
| #1265 | dense meat stack | 1 |
| #435 | dented harmonica | 1 |
| #1064 | diamond-studded cane | 1 |
| #1095 | dirty hobo gloves | 1 |
| #1623 | disassembled clover | 1 |
| #1843 | disco ball | 1 |
| #1024 | disease | 1 |
| #821 | disembodied brain | 1 |
| #1129 | dry noodles | 1 |
| #893 | worthless gewgaw | 1 |
| #1039 | worthless knick-knack | 1 |
| #778 | worthless trinket | 1 |