| #397 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 4 |
| #27 | Ax of L'rose | 1 |
| #684 | BGE 'cuddly critter' shirt | 1 |
| #524 | BGE shotglass | 16 |
| #675 | BGE temporary tattoo | 1 |
| #436 | BGE tiny plastic toy | 3 |
| #159 | BRAINS shorts | 8 |
| #287 | Bartles and BRAAAINS wine cooler | 9 |
| #932 | Better Than Cuddling Cake | 1 |
| #319 | Blood Light | 11 |
| #424 | Bone's Farm "wine" | 3 |
| #255 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) | 4 |
| #264 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) | 3 |
| #34 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #509 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 3) | 2 |
| #467 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 4) | 2 |
| #476 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) | 2 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #790 | CRIMBCO mug | 12 |
| #575 | CRIMBCO wine | 13 |
| #1702 | CRIMBCOIDS mints | 3 |
| #786 | CRIMBCOLOAF | 5 |
| #563 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 9 |
| #6 | Crimbomination Contraption | 1 |
| #1538 | Dickory Farms Gift Basket | 1 |
| #83 | Frosty's arm | 1 |
| #378 | Haunted Sorority House staff guide | 7 |
| #88 | Hodgman's almanac | 1 |
| #125 | Hodgman's journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics | 1 |
| #534 | Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration | 1 |
| #1196 | Jack-in-the-box | 1 |
| #144 | Necrotelicomnicon | 5 |
| #217 | Nightstalker perfume | 11 |
| #265 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I | 3 |
| #234 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III | 4 |
| #212 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter IV | 3 |
| #313 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter V | 1 |
| #319 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter VI | 1 |
| #233 | O'RLY manual | 1 |
| #286 | Silver Bullet beer | 8 |
| #152 | The Necbronomicon | 2 |
| 🥇 | Thinknerd T-Shirt | 1 |
| #918 | Uncle Greenspan's Bathroom Finance Guide | 1 |
| #234 | actual reality goggles | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #1765 | awful poetry journal | 2 |
| #350 | bath ball gift set | 14 |
| #690 | beholed bedsheet | 1 |
| #397 | bindlestocking | 6 |
| #270 | bite-me-red lipstick | 68 |
| #485 | bouquet of circular saw blades | 2 |
| #3699 | box of sunshine | 17 |
| #289 | chainsaw chain | 1 |
| #939 | chocolate-covered diamond-studded roses | 1 |
| 🥉 | control crystal | 1 |
| #148 | cursed scrunchie | 9 |
| #336 | drum of pomade | 2 |
| #141 | extra-see-thru nightie | 4 |
| #179 | extremely skinny jeans | 5 |
| #423 | facsimile dictionary | 25 |
| #377 | fudge bunny | 1 |
| #324 | funhouse mirror | 1 |
| #380 | ghost trap | 1 |
| #183 | ghostly body paint | 28 |
| #383 | glacial sapphire | 1 |
| #691 | invisible bag | 1 |
| #211 | kickback cookbook | 3 |
| #658 | mummy costume | 8 |
| #427 | necrotizing body spray | 9 |
| #105 | packet of orchid seeds | 1 |
| #206 | pool torpedo | 1 |
| #182 | press-on ribs | 46 |
| #949 | pumpkinhead mask | 3 |
| #228 | silver shotgun shell | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow belly | 1 |
| #10 | snow hat | 1 |
| 🥉 | snow pants | 1 |
| #410 | stuffed Hodgman | 1 |
| #132 | throwing bone | 9 |
| #921 | toy maglev monorail | 1 |
| #923 | trilobite fossil | 1 |
| #1505 | unstable DNA | 16 |
| #225 | very overdue library book | 1 |
| #240 | whisker pencil | 36 |
| #615 | witch hat | 1 |
| #1027 | wolfman mask | 1 |
| #1042 | wreath-shaped Crimbo cookie | 1 |
| 🥇 | yield shield | 1 |