| #639 | "DRINK ME" potion | 1 |
| #1437 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1427 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1455 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1016 | 30669 scroll | 1 |
| #1223 | 33398 scroll | 1 |
| #933 | 334 scroll | 1 |
| #1474 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #442 | 4-dimensional guitar | 1 |
| #337 | 5-Alarm Saucepan | 1 |
| #1436 | 5-ball | 1 |
| #1426 | 6-ball | 1 |
| #262 | 64067 scroll | 1 |
| #394 | 668 scroll | 1 |
| #922 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 1 |
| #1486 | 7-ball | 1 |
| #2244 | 8-ball | 1 |
| #626 | 9-ball | 1 |
| #134 | Agent Corrigan's cigarette | 1 |
| #275 | Alewifeâ„¢ Ale | 1 |
| #273 | Alice's Army Alchemist | 1 |
| #2232 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #2096 | Angry Farmer candy | 1 |
| #1785 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 1 |
| #472 | Necrotelicomnicon | 1 |
| #365 | a butt tuba | 1 |
| #1478 | abominable snowcone | 1 |
| #503 | accidental cider | 1 |
| #1006 | acid-squirting flower | 1 |
| #1006 | acoustic guitarrr | 1 |
| #821 | adder bladder | 1 |
| #139 | aerated diving helmet | 1 |
| #362 | agua de vida | 1 |
| #705 | all-purpose cleaner | 1 |
| #1432 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 1 |
| #657 | ancient Magi-Wipes | 1 |
| #145 | ancient calendar fragment | 1 |
| #637 | ancient frozen dinner | 1 |
| #182 | ancient ice cream scoop | 1 |
| #264 | ancient poisoned dart | 1 |
| #671 | ancient protein powder | 1 |
| #533 | ancient spice | 1 |
| #3681 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 1 |
| #610 | ancient vinyl coin purse | 1 |
| #142 | anemone nematocyst | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| #631 | ant agonist | 1 |
| #270 | ant hoe | 1 |
| #255 | ant pick | 1 |
| #251 | ant pitchfork | 1 |
| #260 | ant sickle | 1 |
| #483 | anti-anti-antidote | 1 |
| #1061 | anticheese | 1 |
| #736 | antique 8-Bit Power magazine | 1 |
| #886 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #730 | antique hand mirror | 1 |
| #895 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #496 | antique packet of ketchup | 1 |
| #905 | antique shield | 1 |
| #946 | antique spear | 1 |
| #484 | armgun | 1 |
| #245 | arrowgram | 1 |
| #854 | arrrgyle socks | 1 |
| #433 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #435 | asbestos crossbow | 1 |
| #1105 | asbestos ore | 1 |
| #3382 | heart necklace | 1 |
| #129 | pirate cream pie | 9 |
| #116 | pygmy dart | 7 |
| #133 | pygmy papers | 11 |
| #614 | quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |