| #640 | "DRINK ME" potion | 1 |
| #1435 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1425 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1453 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1016 | 30669 scroll | 1 |
| #1224 | 33398 scroll | 1 |
| #933 | 334 scroll | 1 |
| #1472 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #441 | 4-dimensional guitar | 1 |
| #336 | 5-Alarm Saucepan | 1 |
| #1433 | 5-ball | 1 |
| #1423 | 6-ball | 1 |
| #262 | 64067 scroll | 1 |
| #393 | 668 scroll | 1 |
| #923 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 1 |
| #1485 | 7-ball | 1 |
| #2243 | 8-ball | 1 |
| #621 | 9-ball | 1 |
| #135 | Agent Corrigan's cigarette | 1 |
| #273 | Alewife™ Ale | 1 |
| #271 | Alice's Army Alchemist | 1 |
| #2228 | Ancient Saucehelm | 1 |
| #2096 | Angry Farmer candy | 1 |
| #1782 | El Sombrero De Lopez | 1 |
| #471 | Necrotelicomnicon | 1 |
| #363 | a butt tuba | 1 |
| #1478 | abominable snowcone | 1 |
| #500 | accidental cider | 1 |
| #1008 | acid-squirting flower | 1 |
| #1006 | acoustic guitarrr | 1 |
| #819 | adder bladder | 1 |
| #138 | aerated diving helmet | 1 |
| #361 | agua de vida | 1 |
| #706 | all-purpose cleaner | 1 |
| #1432 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 1 |
| #658 | ancient Magi-Wipes | 1 |
| #146 | ancient calendar fragment | 1 |
| #638 | ancient frozen dinner | 1 |
| #183 | ancient ice cream scoop | 1 |
| #265 | ancient poisoned dart | 1 |
| #671 | ancient protein powder | 1 |
| #533 | ancient spice | 1 |
| #3685 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 1 |
| #609 | ancient vinyl coin purse | 1 |
| #142 | anemone nematocyst | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| #631 | ant agonist | 1 |
| #267 | ant hoe | 1 |
| #252 | ant pick | 1 |
| #249 | ant pitchfork | 1 |
| #257 | ant sickle | 1 |
| #484 | anti-anti-antidote | 1 |
| #1064 | anticheese | 1 |
| #733 | antique 8-Bit Power magazine | 1 |
| #884 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #731 | antique hand mirror | 1 |
| #893 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #497 | antique packet of ketchup | 1 |
| #904 | antique shield | 1 |
| #946 | antique spear | 1 |
| #485 | armgun | 1 |
| #245 | arrowgram | 1 |
| #853 | arrrgyle socks | 1 |
| #431 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #435 | asbestos crossbow | 1 |
| #1101 | asbestos ore | 1 |
| #3379 | heart necklace | 1 |
| #128 | pirate cream pie | 9 |
| #116 | pygmy dart | 7 |
| #133 | pygmy papers | 11 |
| #614 | quasi-ethereal macaroni fragments | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |