| #112 | Überraschthexengebräu | 1 |
| #158 | "DRINK ME" potion | 240 |
| #111 | "KICK ME" sign | 1 |
| #45 | "meat" stick | 46 |
| #1116 | 1-ball | 2 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1425 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1077 | 3-ball | 2 |
| #1472 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #361 | 4-dimensional guitar | 2 |
| #196 | 5-Alarm Saucepan | 2 |
| #78 | 5-hour acrimony | 7 |
| #1423 | 6-ball | 1 |
| #319 | 668 scroll | 2 |
| #680 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 2 |
| #47 | 8-billed baseball cap | 2 |
| #75 | 8-bit banana | 1 |
| #621 | 9-ball | 1 |
| #22 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used) | 1 |
| #12 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #7 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 2 (used) | 1 |
| #9 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #10 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #39 | A Light that Never Goes Out | 3 |
| #49 | Adventurer bobblehead | 4 |
| #28 | Affirmation Cookie | 28 |
| #58 | Afternoon Delight | 5 |
| #107 | Agent Corrigan's cigarette | 3 |
| #11 | Agitated Turkey | 37 |
| #128 | Alewife™ Ale | 12 |
| 🥈 | All-Hallow's Steve's fright wig | 1 |
| #410 | Aluminum Epsilon of Humility | 1 |
| #23 | Ambitious Turkey | 272 |
| #27 | Amoon-Ra Cowtep's nemes | 6 |
| #136 | Ancient Protector Soda | 2 |
| #238 | a butt tuba | 3 |
| #309 | a little sump'm sump'm | 9 |
| #205 | abominable blubber | 1 |
| #10 | abstraction: action | 252 |
| #14 | abstraction: category | 211 |
| #10 | abstraction: perception | 272 |
| #14 | abstraction: purpose | 242 |
| #14 | abstraction: sensation | 275 |
| #11 | abstraction: thought | 246 |
| #102 | acceptable bagel | 1 |
| #294 | accidental cider | 4 |
| #53 | accidental mutton | 1 |
| #127 | accord ion | 1 |
| #85 | accordionoid rocca | 2 |
| #663 | acid-squirting flower | 3 |
| #663 | acoustic guitarrr | 3 |
| #203 | actual reality goggles | 2 |
| #50 | actual tapas | 17 |
| #539 | adder bladder | 6 |
| #444 | adorable seal larva | 6 |
| #12 | aerogel accordion | 1 |
| #12 | aerogel akubra | 1 |
| #15 | aerogel anvil | 1 |
| #8 | aerogel apron | 1 |
| #13 | aerogel ascot | 1 |
| #14 | aerogel attache case | 1 |
| #29 | affordable teak perch | 1 |
| #53 | agnolotti arboli | 1 |
| #169 | agua de vida | 14 |
| #189 | airblaster gun | 1 |
| #14 | airborne mutagen | 30 |
| #31 | alien animal goo | 10 |
| #87 | alien autoautopsy kit | 5 |
| #251 | alien drugs | 3 |
| #71 | alien hologram projector | 3 |
| #18 | alien meat | 76 |
| #25 | alien plant goo | 11 |
| #14 | alien source code printout (used) | 1 |
| #344 | all-purpose cleaner | 12 |
| 🥇 | all-year sucker | 1 |
| #35 | almost-dead walkie-talkie | 248 |
| #109 | amok putter | 1 |
| #1012 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 4 |
| #183 | ancient Magi-Wipes | 45 |
| #22 | ancient calendar | 2 |
| #146 | ancient calendar fragment | 1 |
| #638 | ancient frozen dinner | 1 |
| #136 | ancient ice cream scoop | 4 |
| #40 | ancient medicinal herbs | 2 |
| #634 | magical pony: Shutterfly | 1 |