| #114 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 1 |
| #773 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #1438 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #72 | 100-Watt bulb | 1 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1427 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1457 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1474 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #1436 | 5-ball | 1 |
| #921 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 1 |
| #1486 | 7-ball | 1 |
| #626 | 9-ball | 1 |
| #785 | ASCII shirt | 1 |
| #392 | Angry Farmer's Wife Candy | 1 |
| #297 | Ankh of Badahnkadh | 1 |
| #613 | Baron von Ratsworth's money clip | 1 |
| #4296 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #1256 | Baron von Ratsworth's tophat | 1 |
| #1006 | acid-squirting flower | 1 |
| #1432 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 1 |
| #252 | ancient stone fist | 1 |
| #232 | ancient stone head | 1 |
| #3681 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #1081 | annoying pitchfork | 1 |
| #631 | ant agonist | 1 |
| #270 | ant hoe | 1 |
| #255 | ant pick | 1 |
| #251 | ant pitchfork | 1 |
| #887 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #897 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #906 | antique shield | 1 |
| #948 | antique spear | 1 |
| #855 | arrrgyle socks | 1 |
| #433 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #478 | asbestos sword | 1 |
| #1080 | asparagus knife | 1 |
| #2064 | astronaut pants | 1 |
| #1921 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #7427 | badass belt | 1 |
| #753 | bag of lard | 1 |
| #305 | balloon helmet | 1 |
| #1029 | balloon monkey | 1 |
| #312 | balloon sword | 1 |
| #144 | basic meat helmet | 1 |
| #89 | bat hat | 1 |
| #167 | bat-ass leather jacket | 1 |
| #784 | batblade | 1 |
| #227 | battered hubcap | 1 |
| #398 | bazookafish bubble gum | 1 |
| #282 | beanbag chair | 1 |
| #455 | beaten-up Chucks | 1 |
| #643 | bed of coals | 1 |
| #572 | beer bong | 1 |
| #254 | beer goggles | 1 |
| #307 | dusty fourth lumbar vertebra | 1 |
| #283 | dusty left eighth rib | 1 |
| #305 | dusty left fifth rib | 1 |
| #323 | dusty left first rear claw | 1 |
| #305 | dusty left humerus | 1 |
| #294 | dusty left kneecap | 1 |
| #297 | dusty left radius | 1 |
| #300 | dusty left second rear claw | 1 |
| #309 | dusty left seventh rib | 1 |
| #322 | dusty left tenth rib | 1 |
| #310 | dusty right eighth rib | 1 |
| #289 | dusty right eleventh rib | 1 |
| #288 | dusty right first rib | 1 |
| #288 | dusty right radius | 1 |
| #296 | dusty right seventh rib | 1 |
| #300 | dusty right tenth rib | 1 |
| #292 | dusty second caudal vertebra | 1 |
| #305 | dusty second lumbar vertebra | 1 |
| #296 | dusty second thoracic vertebra | 1 |
| #290 | dusty sixth caudal vertebra | 1 |
| #288 | dusty third thoracic vertebra | 1 |
| #294 | dusty twelfth thoracic vertebra | 1 |