| #113 | "Humorous" T-shirt | 1 |
| #774 | 'WILL WORK FOR BOOZE' sign | 1 |
| #1435 | 1-ball | 1 |
| #71 | 100-Watt bulb | 1 |
| #1149 | 1337 7r0uZ0RZ | 1 |
| #1425 | 2-ball | 1 |
| #1453 | 3-ball | 1 |
| #1472 | 4-ball | 1 |
| #1433 | 5-ball | 1 |
| #923 | 7-Foot Dwarven mattock | 1 |
| #1485 | 7-ball | 1 |
| #621 | 9-ball | 1 |
| #784 | ASCII shirt | 1 |
| #389 | Angry Farmer's Wife Candy | 1 |
| #296 | Ankh of Badahnkadh | 1 |
| #610 | Baron von Ratsworth's money clip | 1 |
| #4299 | Baron von Ratsworth's monocle | 1 |
| #1258 | Baron von Ratsworth's tophat | 1 |
| #1008 | acid-squirting flower | 1 |
| #1432 | amulet of extreme plot significance | 1 |
| #251 | ancient stone fist | 1 |
| #230 | ancient stone head | 1 |
| #3685 | ancient unspeakable fruitcake | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| #1079 | annoying pitchfork | 1 |
| #631 | ant agonist | 1 |
| #267 | ant hoe | 1 |
| #252 | ant pick | 1 |
| #249 | ant pitchfork | 1 |
| #884 | antique greaves | 1 |
| #893 | antique helmet | 1 |
| #904 | antique shield | 1 |
| #946 | antique spear | 1 |
| #853 | arrrgyle socks | 1 |
| #431 | asbestos apron | 1 |
| #478 | asbestos sword | 1 |
| #1079 | asparagus knife | 1 |
| #2065 | astronaut pants | 1 |
| #1924 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #7431 | badass belt | 1 |
| #753 | bag of lard | 1 |
| #304 | balloon helmet | 1 |
| #1026 | balloon monkey | 1 |
| #309 | balloon sword | 1 |
| #144 | basic meat helmet | 1 |
| #89 | bat hat | 1 |
| #169 | bat-ass leather jacket | 1 |
| #783 | batblade | 1 |
| #224 | battered hubcap | 1 |
| #397 | bazookafish bubble gum | 1 |
| #282 | beanbag chair | 1 |
| #454 | beaten-up Chucks | 1 |
| #642 | bed of coals | 1 |
| #569 | beer bong | 1 |
| #255 | beer goggles | 1 |
| #305 | dusty fourth lumbar vertebra | 1 |
| #282 | dusty left eighth rib | 1 |
| #304 | dusty left fifth rib | 1 |
| #322 | dusty left first rear claw | 1 |
| #303 | dusty left humerus | 1 |
| #291 | dusty left kneecap | 1 |
| #297 | dusty left radius | 1 |
| #297 | dusty left second rear claw | 1 |
| #309 | dusty left seventh rib | 1 |
| #320 | dusty left tenth rib | 1 |
| #309 | dusty right eighth rib | 1 |
| #288 | dusty right eleventh rib | 1 |
| #287 | dusty right first rib | 1 |
| #286 | dusty right radius | 1 |
| #295 | dusty right seventh rib | 1 |
| #300 | dusty right tenth rib | 1 |
| #291 | dusty second caudal vertebra | 1 |
| #302 | dusty second lumbar vertebra | 1 |
| #294 | dusty second thoracic vertebra | 1 |
| #289 | dusty sixth caudal vertebra | 1 |
| #288 | dusty third thoracic vertebra | 1 |
| #293 | dusty twelfth thoracic vertebra | 1 |