| #26 | Autobiography Of Dynamite Superman Jones (used) | 1 |
| #36 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 1) (used) | 1 |
| #33 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 2) (used) | 1 |
| #1479 | Crimbo Candy Cookbook | 1 |
| #1004 | Feng Shui for Big Dumb Idiots | 1 |
| #166 | How to Play Othello | 1 |
| #366 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter I | 1 |
| #385 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter II | 1 |
| #377 | Notes from the Elfpocalypse, Chapter III | 1 |
| #231 | O'RLY manual | 1 |
| #14 | Stembridge sidearm | 1 |
| #31 | Tales of Spelunking | 11 |
| #5 | The Big Book of Communism (used) | 1 |
| #85 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #52 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 | 2 |
| 🥈 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 2 (used) | 2 |
| #5 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #7 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #4 | The Journal of Mime Science Vol. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #57 | The Necbronomicon (used) | 1 |
| #1558 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 1 |
| #494 | Thwaitgold amoeba statuette | 1 |
| #498 | Thwaitgold bug statuette | 1 |
| #209 | Thwaitgold caterpillar statuette | 6 |
| #403 | Thwaitgold chigger statuette | 1 |
| #66 | Thwaitgold cockroach statuette | 7 |
| #1939 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 1 |
| #247 | Thwaitgold masked hunter statuette | 1 |
| #326 | Thwaitgold moth statuette | 1 |
| #259 | Thwaitgold nit statuette | 1 |
| #439 | Thwaitgold scarab beetle statuette | 10 |
| #653 | Thwaitgold scorpion statuette | 1 |
| #1024 | Thwaitgold termite statuette | 2 |
| #126 | Thwaitgold time fly statuette | 1 |
| #1924 | awful poetry journal | 1 |
| #9 | baconstone-handled sixgun | 1 |
| #21 | custom sixgun | 1 |
| #89 | deep six-shooter | 2 |
| #1854 | disturbing fanfic | 1 |
| #72 | eldritch effluvium | 2,214 |
| #8 | hamethyst-handled sixgun | 1 |
| #270 | library card | 1 |
| #11 | makeshift sixgun | 1 |
| #210 | meatsmithing guide | 1 |
| #71 | mime army challenge coin | 1 |
| #19 | mime army infiltration glove | 1 |
| #22 | mime army insignia (cryonics) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (espionage) | 1 |
| #24 | mime army insignia (infantry) | 1 |
| #25 | mime army insignia (intelligence) | 1 |
| #26 | mime army insignia (morale) | 1 |
| #17 | mime army insignia (psychological warfare) | 1 |
| #38 | mime army insignia (pyrotechnics) | 1 |
| #18 | mime army insignia (sanitation) | 1 |
| #70 | mime army shotglass | 1 |
| #158 | mime soul fragment | 23 |
| #78 | miming beret | 1 |
| #84 | miming boots | 1 |
| #100 | miming corduroys | 1 |
| #93 | miming gloves | 1 |
| #95 | miming shirt | 1 |
| #14 | newborn kobold | 1 |
| #9 | porquoise-handled sixgun | 1 |
| #20 | rinky-dink sixgun | 1 |
| #127 | rusted-out shootin' iron | 1 |
| #69 | silent A | 1 |
| #137 | silent B | 1 |
| #58 | silent C | 1 |
| #63 | silent D | 1 |
| #56 | silent E | 1 |
| #75 | silent F | 1 |
| #62 | silent G | 1 |
| #133 | silent H | 1 |
| #202 | silent I | 1 |
| #172 | silent J | 1 |
| #46 | silent K | 1 |
| #147 | silent L | 1 |
| #191 | silent M | 1 |
| #68 | silent N | 1 |
| #240 | silent O | 1 |
| #210 | silent P | 1 |
| #85 | silent Q | 1 |
| #62 | silent R | 1 |
| #68 | silent S | 1 |
| #65 | silent T | 1 |
| #63 | silent U | 1 |
| #73 | silent V | 1 |
| #122 | silent W | 1 |
| #185 | silent X | 1 |
| #67 | silent Y | 1 |
| #120 | silent Z | 1 |
| #251 | six tiny wedges of goat cheese | 6 |
| #41 | soul coin | 1 |
| #182 | soul doorbell | 1 |
| #31 | soul knife | 1 |
| #35 | soul mask | 1 |
| #225 | very overdue library book | 1 |