| #23 | A Beginner's Guide to Charming Snakes (used) | 1 |
| #12 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 1 (used) | 1 |
| #9 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 3 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 4 (used) | 1 |
| #10 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 5 (used) | 1 |
| #8 | A Crimbo Carol, Ch. 6 (used) | 1 |
| #588 | A. W. O. L. commendation | 7 |
| #241 | Atomic Comic | 2 |
| 🥇 | Bloodbath | 1 |
| 🥈 | Byte | 1 |
| 🥉 | CRIMBCO Employee Handbook (chapter 5) (used) | 2 |
| #529 | CRIMBCO lanyard | 1 |
| #287 | Cinco Mayo Lager | 1 |
| #97 | FDKOL commendation | 7,676 |
| 🥇 | Ginsu™ | 1 |
| 🥉 | Hjodor's Guide to Arctic Dalmatians (used) | 1 |
| #8 | Hodgman's disgusting technicolor overcoat | 1 |
| #7 | Hodgman's whackin' stick | 2 |
| 🥇 | Lord Flameface's cloak | 1 |
| 🥇 | Meatcleaver | 1 |
| #525 | Order of the Silver Wossname | 1 |
| #2359 | Pan-Dimensional Gargle Blaster | 1 |
| #369 | Red Pill | 1 |
| #153 | Super Crimboman Ultra Mega Hypersword | 1 |
| #212 | Sword of Dark Omens | 1 |
| 🥈 | Sword of Procedural Generation | 1 |
| #63 | Sword of the Brouhaha Prince | 1 |
| #384 | Tales of the Word Realms | 1 |
| #21 | The Art of Slapfighting (used) | 1 |
| #524 | The Cooler Out of Space | 1 |
| #49 | The Joy of Wassailing (used) | 1 |
| #58 | The Necbronomicon (used) | 1 |
| #1205 | Thwaitgold Goliath beetle statuette | 2 |
| #288 | Thwaitgold bee statuette | 7 |
| #659 | Thwaitgold butterfly statuette | 2 |
| #1163 | Thwaitgold dragonfly statuette | 2 |
| #75 | Thwaitgold firefly statuette | 18 |
| #145 | Thwaitgold grasshopper statuette | 11 |
| #184 | Thwaitgold maggot statuette | 15 |
| #148 | Thwaitgold praying mantis statuette | 5 |
| #270 | Thwaitgold stag beetle statuette | 18 |
| #349 | Thwaitgold woollybear statuette | 4 |
| 🥇 | Truthsayer | 1 |
| #22 | Uncle Romulus (used) | 1 |
| #24 | Zu Mannkäse Dienen (used) | 1 |
| #858 | adorable seal larva | 3 |
| 🥈 | anniversary balsa wood socks | 1 |
| 🥇 | anniversary burlap belt | 1 |
| #227 | anniversary chutney sculpture | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary concrete fedora | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary safety glass vest | 1 |
| 🥈 | anniversary tiny latex mask | 1 |
| #502 | bag of bones | 1 |
| #1096 | box of sunshine | 210 |
| #321 | breaded beer | 2 |
| 🥇 | bucket of anniversary lard | 1 |
| #104 | easter egg balloon | 123 |
| #2228 | enchanted leopard-print barbell | 1 |
| #312 | fossilized demon skull | 1 |
| #371 | fossilized wyrm skull | 1 |
| #507 | friendly cheez blob | 5 |
| #67 | gummi bowtie | 1 |
| #263 | handful of confetti | 134 |
| #396 | handful of numbers | 1 |
| 🥇 | heart of dark chocolate | 1 |
| #329 | hideous egg | 10 |
| #249 | intriguing puzzle box | 2 |
| #43 | jar of anniversary jam | 1 |
| #170 | macaroni duck | 10 |
| #28 | moist sack | 1 |
| #418 | obnoxious riddle | 1 |
| #332 | phish stick | 3 |
| #425 | really dense meat stack | 15 |
| 🥈 | record of infuriating silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥉 | record of menacing silence (used) | 1 |
| 🥈 | record of tranquil silence (used) | 1 |
| #136 | ridiculous sandwich | 11 |
| #2414 | sandwich of the gods | 1 |
| #159 | solid gold bowling ball | 115 |
| #41 | sorority girl's box | 1 |
| #106 | spandex anniversary shorts | 1 |
| #860 | squirming egg sac | 3 |
| #113 | stray chihuahua | 20 |
| #39 | swordzall | 1 |
| #2177 | tiny plastic 7-foot dwarf | 3 |
| #371 | tiny plastic Ancient Unspeakable Bugbear | 12 |
| #1279 | tiny plastic Axe Wound | 6 |
| #273 | tiny plastic Bugbear Captain | 4 |
| #1654 | tiny plastic Cheshire bat | 11 |
| #303 | tiny plastic abominable fudgeman | 1 |
| #1347 | tiny plastic accordion thief | 4 |
| #2205 | tiny plastic angry bugbear | 3 |
| #505 | tiny plastic angry goat | 32 |
| #318 | tiny plastic angry space marine | 14 |
| #2811 | tiny plastic anime smiley | 2 |
| #244 | tiny plastic animelf | 1 |
| #1456 | tiny plastic apathetic lizardman | 5 |
| #1740 | tiny plastic astronomer | 4 |
| #1511 | tiny plastic baby gravy fairy | 12 |
| #2030 | tiny plastic barrrnacle | 9 |
| #2571 | tiny plastic bitchin' meatcar | 2 |
| #2492 | tiny plastic blood-faced volleyball | 7 |
| #1119 | tiny plastic cocoabo | 16 |
| #1822 | tiny plastic coffee pixie | 10 |
| #4495 | tiny plastic disco bandit | 1 |
| #71 | tiny plastic four-shadowed mime | 1 |
| #1406 | tiny plastic fuzzy dice | 13 |
| #2042 | tiny plastic ghost pickle on a stick | 9 |
| #1216 | tiny plastic ghuol whelp | 15 |
| #1134 | tiny plastic grue | 16 |
| #1833 | tiny plastic hermit | 3 |
| #1215 | tiny plastic howling balloon monkey | 15 |
| #1494 | tiny plastic killer bee | 12 |
| #1509 | tiny plastic leprechaun | 12 |
| #2240 | tiny plastic levitating potato | 8 |
| #1631 | tiny plastic mosquito | 11 |
| #4344 | tiny plastic pastamancer | 1 |
| #1358 | tiny plastic sabre-toothed lime | 13 |
| #4467 | tiny plastic sauceror | 1 |
| #2612 | tiny plastic seal clubber | 2 |
| #2034 | tiny plastic spooky pirate skeleton | 9 |
| #3949 | tiny plastic stab bat | 4 |
| #2235 | tiny plastic star starfish | 8 |
| #4481 | tiny plastic turtle tamer | 1 |
| #256 | untamable turtle | 8 |
| #452 | unusual disco ball | 6 |
| #151 | waterlogged crate | 1 |